"Miscarriage"

I started to miscarry at 12 and a half weeks, just before my first scheduled scan. I phoned the Early Pregnancy Unit (at the Rosie Maternity Hospital in Cambridge) who advised that I should come in for the scan as planned to confirm that I was actually miscarrying.

When I arrived at the hospital the ultrasound department were not aware of my current situation so I had to explain. My husband and I were then told to take a seat among the roomful of expectant parents and wait to be called. The sonographer's first words to us were 'so are you having the screening for Downs Syndrome?' After I explained yet again she carried out the scan without giving us the choice of whether we wanted to see the results on the screen.

After being involuntarily shown our dead baby we were then sent back out to the waiting room with the expectant parents to wait for our report to be written up before we could be sent to the EPU to discuss the options for managing the miscarriage.

The staff in the EPU were actually very good and dealt with the situation in a professional and caring manner. However both my husband and I felt that they were not very forthcoming with some of the information and we had to ask rather than be told (particularly about what to expect of the physical side of a naturally managed miscarriage). We were both very unhappy about the lack of communication between the EPU/ ultrasound department receptionist/ sonographer.

Would it really have been too much to ask that they could have quickly been brought up to speed with what was happening so that we didn't have to keep saying that actually no, I was no longer pregnant but was in fact having a miscarriage?

This pales into insignificance though when compared to the emotional pain of being made to sit with people who were either all obviously pregnant or were excitedly awaiting their scans. Why are antenatal staff not better trained in how to deal with a patient in my situation? We weren't looking for 'tea and sympathy' but just the realisation that we were going through a very emotional and upsetting time.