"Adult Mental Health Services"
About: Southern Health NHS Foundation Trust / Adult mental health Southern Health NHS Foundation Trust Adult mental health SO40 2RZ
Posted by Ilovecats (as ),
I have been in severe distress with growing suicide ideation. I spoke to the local out of hours Crisis Team (the person I spoke to was brilliant). This person suggested that I book an appointment with my ex consultant (no longer under his care) as I needed help.
Notes on the local computer system said that my ex consultant had welcomed me making an appointment if ever I needed to see him so I was not imagining this part. I tried to do this only to find that he had had a complete turn around and would only see my if the CPN thought it necessary.
I do not have an appointment with this CPN for another 2 weeks so by then the "crisis" will either be over or I might take a more successful overdose this time (my husband caught me attemtping suicide). In the end it was suggested that I visit our local Adult MH Services duty desk which I have done. The person I saw was lovely, kind and listened. They said that I am having a crisis at the moment, would write out a report and ensure my ex consultant and CPN get a copy. What they will do with that information I do not know.
I have a WRAP and am well aware of "mindfulness" but was past being able to use either.
It took a lot of courage for me to call even the Crisis Team because I have huge guilt issues over wasting the healthcare system's time in that somebody more deserving needs their help or because I feel that I am a fraud who is about to get caught out (healthcare professionals constantly reassure me that neither is true).
Because of the reaction of my ex consultant I now feel even more worthless and even more guilty for making any calls in the first place. I feel as if they now think I am making things up (which I am not) and should either be ignored or wiped away. I feel let down by the system just when I needed it most.
Maybe if I was the sort of patient / service user that created a fuss all the time I would be listened to and helped through.