"This is having a significant emotional impact on me"

I first posted my experience last week after my surgery (at Queen Elizabeth Hospital Glasgow, neurology) was cancelled (after being preped for surgery, wearing gown, surgical stockings etc) from 6am and was informed in the afternoon that surgery wouldnt be going ahead. I was really disappointed but returned home, still in pain still with with hope as I had been informed that my surgery would go ahead the following Thursday.

Today however, I need to write this update:

A little background:

I have been in ongoing, constant, debilitating pain in my lower back, hip, thigh and leg due to prolapsed disc since August last year. I have been off work since, am unable to drive any longer than 5 minutes at a time, don't sleep well due to pain, spasms, nerve pain, numbness, pins and needles, weakeness in leg and am unable to walk any distance and use a crutch. In addition, I have to take a range of strong medication every day. I was informed by my consultant at Queen Elizabeth Hospital in Glasgow in December 2016 that I needed Discectomy surgery which would take place around end January this year. I have phoned the consultants secretary regularly since. I was initially told that surgery would not be in January and advised that it would probably be February as there were a few people in front of me. I was then told on several ocassions that there was no date for me yet, then that it would be after the 12 week guarantee waiting time due to backlog and a ward being temporarily closed. I understand that this is a receiving ward and completely appreciate that emergencies should take priority. I accept this, but it would have been so much more meaningful for me if I was given even an idea of the month my surgery would take place to give me some hope and something to aim for. I was finally given a date for surgery in April with pre op 3 days before (as outlined in my first story). This was then moved forward (as outlined above this was cancelled after spending the night in hospital and then all day from 6am in theatre gown etc waiting to go to theatre).

I returned to hospital yesterday morning (13th April) at 8am for surgery. Having fasted from midnight I had nothing to eat or drink all day. I was informed that I would be going to theatre at 3pm. At approx 2. 15pm, one of the nurses advised me that she had had word from the surgeon to say that if I hadn't been called for theatre by 3pm that surgery would not be going ahead. I could not believe this was happening again and indeed at 3pm I was informed that I would not be going to theatre. I was extremely upset and became tearful, feeling really let down, I felt that my surgery, pain and feelings were not being considered. One of the doctors came to speak to me around an hour later to say that they had been running around an hour late from the morning in the theatre. I was informed that my consultant has a few dates in mind but could not confirm this and that I will be contacted with another date. I therefore had to make arrangements for a family member to collect me. I have now returned home with my surgery not going ahead for the second time in a week with no date now for this to take place. I feel emotionally exhausted after being prepared for my operation going ahead twice now in one week. This is having a significant emotional impact on me and I don't know where to turn now. I feel there is no consideration being given to reduced coping ability (due to constant, debilitating pain) and emotional impact when surgery is cancelled at such very short notice, I. e minutes before it was due to go ahead. I am now very anxious and concerned about when and if my surgery will take place. I feel very let down by the NHS and need answers around when my surgery will take place and why I was cancelled yet again. I do appreciate that emergencies can and do occur and should always take priority however this did not appear to be the case today. The nursing staff caring for me today and last week were exceptional, very caring and commited to their role and I cannot fault the care they provided me.