"my experience of giving birth"

I had a horrendous experience at AMH in December 2014. During an appointment at term I had a high blood pressure reading that sparked a week long pressure campaign to agree to an induction. This included being told prior to a blood pressure measurement that my baby may die. My raised blood pressure appeared to be linked to being in the presence of doctors and pressure to induce, seemingly a case of "white coat hypertension". With the exception of when I was pressured by a midwife (not at AMH) to agree to an induction and told my baby may die, my blood pressure was normal. I felt utterly bullied into submission and went to Westburn Ward for closer monitoring where I was kept awake by the staff shouting, laughing and singing in the middle of the night. I have some of this on video.

I feel that the persistent bullying to agree to an induction and the stress this put me under this impacted my labour which started naturally but was slow to establish, and resulted in a cascade of intervention. There were repetitive and unwanted discussions of risks, despite showing no other symptoms to cause concern. I was repeatedly told I was 40, my pregnancy was IVF and the transient high blood pressure warranted induction. I also do not feel that I was given all the information regarding induction and was unable to make a fully informed decision. My labour changed from anterior to a posterior labour which I believe may have been avoided had my waters not been broken and I was allowed to progress naturally. I was not informed of the negative effect rupturing membranes may have on the positioning of my baby. Whilst I was on labour suite I felt like a piece of meat and not always treated respectfully. After four days of a slow labour my baby began to show signs of distress and I was exhausted. Despite all of this, I managed to give birth naturally.

Some of the staff were amazing and looked after me with professionalism and a great deal of empathy. However, I felt that the overall experience was one of intervention and control at any cost.

I currently have a complaint lodged with the hospital and am awaiting a post-natal meeting to discuss my experience and concerns. Following the outcome of this I will decide whether or not to take my case further.

My experience giving birth to my very wanted child was horrific. I was distressed throughout and after. I struggled to establish breastfeeding and bond with my child. None of the experience can ever be undone and is unforgivable. Even if I could have another child, I would not place myself in that vulnerable position ever again.