"My dying mother's care at Frimley Park Hospital"

About: Frimley Park Hospital / Older people's healthcare

(as a relative),

My mother has been simply told that she has terminal cancer and they don’t know how long she has got. And then they said she has had a stroke, which they aren't treating pro-actively to reduce any further risk, because she is terminal anyway.

They realise the cancer steals her appetite, but they continually try to 'encourage' her to eat and spoon it in, even when she doesn't want anything. Then when she doesn't eat, they call her a 'bag of bones' and threaten to put a tube up her nose (even when she says no). Then they leave her in the bed and don't even offer to put her in a chair, let alone take her to somewhere nice like the time garden.

When I said that my mother seems to have been popped in the corner to die, I was told that’s probably the best bed on the ward, right next to the window. Well that’s a relief isn't it!

In her dying days/ hours/ weeks/months, nobody seems to want to tell us family anything! She gets to look at a building site and watch all the activities of the builders in their hard hats and yellow jackets going about their business!

I make no apologies for our sarcastic comments and attitude towards the conclusion of my formal complaint. To be honest, at this time I feel that we are beyond the realms of polite and politically correct attitudes and thinking.

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Responses

Response from Stroke Association, Stroke Association

Dear Nigelt

We were sorry to hear about your mother's diagnosis, especially as she has also had a stroke. Here at the Stroke Association, we have a Stroke Helpline which is there for anyone who has been affected by stroke in any way. You may want to know more about stroke and its effects, be looking for practical information and support, or simply someone to talk to. The Stroke Helpline is open Monday to Friday from 9am to 5pm on 0303 30 33 100. You can also email us at info@stroke.org.uk.

I hope that the hospital is willing to look into your concerns but if you are still unhappy, it may be helpful to contact the Patient Advice and Liaison Service (PALS). PALS is an independent organisation, there to ensure that the NHS listens to patients, their relatives, carers and friends, answers their questions and resolves their concerns as quickly as possible. You can telephone PALS at Frimley Park hospital on 01276-526530. You might also want to speak to the Palliative Care Team at the hospital, as they will be able to offer you information on how they can help too.

Finally, you can also find lots of information about stroke on our website at www.stroke.org.uk. You can read about our services, read or listen to other people’s experiences and download all of our publications free of charge. There is news about our campaigns to improve services for stroke survivors, national and local events and our research programmes. You can also join the Talkstroke discussion group where you can share your experiences with other people who have been affected by stroke.

I hope that this is helpful and that you and your mother get the support that you need at this time.

Stroke Information Service

info@stroke.org.uk

Stroke Association staff are not medically trained and the information provided does not replace information given to you by your own healthcare provider.

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Update posted by Nigelt (a relative)

Thankyou so much for your kind words and info. Sadly my mother suffered that treatment,lack of care,compassion for 3 long weeks at FPH. We moved her to the Phylis a Tuckwell Hospice where she received the most fantastic care and treatment. A wonderful place and dedicated people. A credit to their professions.

Unfortunately my mother had only 2 1/2 days there and sadly died at the end of May.

The staff I met at Frimley Park Hospital continued what I considered their disgraceful treatment right up to the time they handed my mother over to the hospice.

We placed a 'formal complaint' of some 20+ pages to FPH in late May prior to my mothers death and in fact whilst she was in their care. It's now the end of July. We've had 3 meetings with the hospital but no written or positive response.

They apologise for all the treatment, admit verbally that it was wrong and promise changes to training and procedures. We've offered to help to install changes with our experiences but insist that this is public and known outside of their car park and within the community so people can see any positive action they make. However the first meeting with head of PALS was only attended by them 2 weeks ago. In their words public that won't happen.

To date, the only written response to any of our complaint points was a standard letter from PALS stating that all issues would be look at, investigated and replied to is within 28 days. We are still waiting.

Only wish we had known of Stroke Association at the appropriate time when mum was still with us. They may have helped the family and my mother.

Once again thank you for your interest and kind words.

Response from Stroke Association, Stroke Association

Dear Nigelt

Thank you for your response. I am very sorry to hear that your mother died at the end of May. Please accept our sincere condolences. Please do not hesitate to contact us if you need any information or someone to talk to.

Stroke Information Service

info@stroke.org.uk

Stroke Association staff are not medically trained and the information provided does not replace information given to you by your own healthcare provider.

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