"Mixed first time birth experience"

I feel the need to write about my experience of my first birth at Aberdeen Maternity unit as there are good points and negative points to my experience.

I was in labour for 76 hours in mid August and had to spend an additional 2 days in hospital to eventually be discharged. 

I ended up being admitted to Aberdeen Maternity unit and started my journey at the midwife unit. I had an exceptional experience with the midwives, the student midwives and health support worker on this ward, very friendly, tentative and made you feel at ease. They explained everything to me, i.e why they were doing things as well as asking permission to do things such as examinations during my time with them.

I was later transferred to the labour unit due to requiring additional pain medication, the midwife that I had been introduced to in the midwife unit came to the labour unit with me and stayed with me for her shift, her name was Amanda. This made me feel at ease as I had met her and began to build a relationship with her. She was very good and again explained everything to me, had general conversation with me and ensured to ask for permission before carrying out any examination.

Again I was introduced to an other set of midwives due to the length of time I was in labour, they were called Jodie and Abbie. They stayed with me during my attempted labour, the c-section and the recovery after the c-section before transferring me to Ashgrove ward. They were exceptional, like the previous midwives made me feel at ease and engaged in conversation well. They stayed with me while I was in the theatre having my c-section and they supported my partner and cared for my baby after birth. 

I spoke to David (Surgeon who carried out c-section) on two occasions around how my body was progressing (lack of) and that a c-section may be required. He was very clear in his explanation around what this would entail as well as giving me the opportunity to try and progress in my labour, allowing me to make the decision on my own, while expressing his views around the necessity for the c-section also. 

The staff during the procedure were very good, explaining everything that was going on and asking for permission to carrying out an examination first. 

The negative parts of my experience came when I was transferred to Ashgrove ward. The care and experience I had with the staff have impacted my views of my birth negatively.

I was emotional during this time and had become upset while a midwife  was in front of me, their response was a blank tone asking why I was upset. They listed off options as to why I was upset. I did not appreciate how she had spoke to me. 

I had difficulties with breastfeeding my baby, and instead of staff stating this to me, when I asked about discharge I was then just told I could not go home until the staff saw my baby latch on, with no further explanation. This added to my upset as I had been trying to breast feed my baby with little support form staff.

The support I received from the staff was trying to get my baby to latch when he had an open mouth, regardless if this meant my baby was screaming.

I was disappointed that I did not get the natural experience of my son being put on my chest and given the time to roam to find the feed on his own. I feel that this was the case due to the c-section and the rush of time to get me moved to my final destination. I can later reflect that there were issues with my supply of milk due to the c-section and blood loss. However, during the time, this was a very negative and pressured experience. 

Another negative experience I had around breast feeding was from a member of staff from the infancy breast feeding team. We tried to explain to them about being willing to express, or use formula feeding if my baby was not able to latch. This did not seem to be an option for them, I became upset during this time and my partner asked if I could be given the time to go home as I had been 5 days with little to no sleep at this point and was emotionally drained. The member of staff at this point stated that we had picked this life and knew what came with being a parent, including no sleep. This was not appropriate at all. 

Another negative experience I had when I was first at Ashgrove left me feeling like I had no dignity left. I advised a midwife that I required support to change my pad, they proceeded to give me several pads and then leave me alone. I had no option but to try and change this pad on my own and leave them on the floor as I had no other place to put them and at this point was still unable to walk/catheterised.