"Sadly, at the end of my stay, my experience changed."

I had a crisis that resulted in 48 hour stay at the Decisions Unit at the Longley Centre. The staff there were very kind and supportive in the de-escalation of my crisis. I can't thank them enough.

Sadly, at the end of my stay, my experience changed. I was assessed for the home treatment team by two workers. One was very angry and condescending and questioned me in an aggressive police interview fashion. It was overbearing and intimidating. Because I had drank more alcohol than normal on two occasions in the weeks preceding the crisis, I was subjected to a barrage of questions that implied that I was an alcoholic (which I am not, though had difficulties in the past) and was not given sufficient opportunity to collects my thoughts for an appropriate response to contextualise and frame my answers (I was very depressed and feeling very vulnerable). Since I was not in the frame of mind for an argument, I felt the need to lie in order to agree to her questions, confirm and validate her opinion. This was in order to end the session as quickly as possible. 

Part of the assessment included questions on abuse. I answered these honestly and truthfully. Since I have experience of this, I was hoping that a sensitive response would happen. I was to be utterly disappointed. A quick acknowledgement as if it didn't matter. I felt utterly dismissed and unimportant. 

I feel as if I was treat as someone who had done something utterly shameful and abhorrent. I felt belittled, treated as a naughty school child and the session ended with me close to tears, utterly dejected and despondent. The other worker was very quiet, appearing to be disturbed and upset by what they had witnessed. 

The experience left me feeling numb for a day or two, though later that week, I was so filled with guilt and shame, I self-harmed, with an overwhelming feeling as if I had no right to ask for help, receive support or indeed to live. 

I have since received excellent support from others in the home treatment team. They're dedication, patience and sensitivity is highly commendable. 

I have served the trust as a public governor, I have dedicated many hours of voluntary service to the organisation. I am a mental health professional myself. I am aghast and angered greatly by this behaviour. I still burst into tears, thinking about it. What I wished to say was completely dismissed or twisted to fit that person's narrative. 

I hope notice is taken and that it it will not happened again. No one, let alone some one vulnerable should be spoken too in that manner. I self harmed, others may do something more catastrophic.