"Poor maternity care"

On Wednesday 1st of June I started having contractions at home, I managed them for as long as I could but by midnight they started to become more unbearable so I phoned the RAH and was asked to come over. We got there at 1:40 and I was taken in to triage by the most lovely nurse with such a friendly calming nature. She examined me and asked if I had felt any urge to push (I hadn’t) as I was 7cm but that there was hardly any cervix there.  She explained the waters were bulging and that once they went the baby wouldn’t be long after.

We were then taken along to room 3 and when I suggested my husband went to the car to get the bags, the midwife at the time  told him to hold off so he didn't miss anything, thinking things would happen quickly.

My waters went at 2:10 and the midwife and trainee midwife were standing at the other side of the room. Nobody helped or made any attempt to dry the floor until my husband asked a while later as he was concerned the birthing ball I was on was sliding about and unsafe. They brought a few towels and half heartedly kicked them about the floor with her feet.

I had asked for help on knowing when to push and explained that during my first birth I hadn’t felt this urge, so could I have some guidance. I kept saying I felt I needed the toilet and I felt pressure in my bottom, which was obviously the baby's head. Still nobody came over to me or examined me. I was told to just get on with it and that I would be due to get examined at 6:00 am. The trainee was intermittently checking the baby's heart rate.  At one point she struggled to find it so the midwife came to check.  It took them a while too which I now assume was due to the baby being so far down that he was almost out.

I was standing up, leaning on the bed and due to the pain I knelt down to try and get more comfortable. I then felt the baby coming and said that's the head.   At this point the midwife came over and told me to get onto the bed.  I don’t feel I should have been moved at this point.  I had barely got myself up kneeling on the bed when my baby's body was out at 3:43am. The cord was around his neck twice. They are saying the second stage of labour lasted 3 minutes. 

I feel if I had received a bit of attention, guidance or support, I could have pushed when the time was right and my baby would have been born in a more controlled way. I ended up with a 3rd degree tear which resulted in me having to go to theatre, have a spinal block and get repaired. This was made more disappointing by the fact I had only used gas and air to have my baby, but now required the spinal, cannula, catheter and a stay in hospital. After doing it all myself, the same as my first birth,  I was so disappointed.

I completely understand that sometimes these things happen, however I feel that this happened to me due to the poor level of care I received. The midwife appeared completely uninterested in helping in any way. They never once looked at me or offered any guidance or kindness.  I really wasn’t asking for much, just a bit of support.  They showed a complete lack of any empathy or compassion. I feel had they taken a bit of time to help me I could have been in a different position etc and my birth could have been more controlled and not resulted in such a bad tear.

I am now left with quite a bit of recovery ahead of me and left feeling traumatised by this experience.

I completely put my trust in a midwife and I was totally let down. A birth is an experience which stays with you forever.  This should have been another positive experience, but it is now plagued with memories of a lack of care by a trusted professional. I feel I was not supported in the short time I was under the midwife's care and this is a feeling I will never forget

It felt like they couldn’t have cared less.