"I will certainly never willingly return for the same procedures"

Recently had a gastroscopy & colonoscopy. Both were absolutely horrific procedures and I felt that some of the staff didn't help make it any easier. The medication I received did absolutely nothing for sedation nor pain relief. I feel that the dose of medication given did not take into account my weight. My friend who weighs less than half of me had the same dose a few months ago and was also wide awake and with it, so in my opinion the drug of choice/dosing is not appropriate for its purpose!

I had also told those involved in my care that the sedation I had during this procedure years ago (in another hospital) had not been effective so had expected this to be taken into consideration this time around. As the BNF (British National Formulary) states, Midazolam can be titrated up to 7.5mg for conscious sedation, why is only 3mg standard given for such an invasive investigation or not evaluated on an individual basis and increased as necessary?

I felt that barely a few minutes after the sedation was administered - with no time to give it time to really work nor evaluate its effects, the scope was inserted and I writhed and retched through the entire gastroscopy procedure, held tight by nurses who seemed determined to finish the procedure whilst I felt like I was going to vomit and was trying to cough up some secretions that had been dislodged but which the nurse suctioning hadn't removed for me.

Then, the colonoscopy began, as mentioned above, I had one previously elsewhere many years ago which was awful so I knew it wouldn't be easy nor pleasant but this time, it was absolutely horrific. Pain like I have never felt before and, barely any comforting from those around me. I was expressing my discomfort clearly and was given a top up but, this made absolutely no difference - all I could do was close my eyes and hope it was over quickly.

There was another endoscopist present who I believe was still in training, I recall one talking the other through the procedure as the trainee removed a polyp - which is fine if the patient is tolerating this additional procedure time but not in my case, where speed to finish the task would have been more appropriate.

Finally the procedure was finished and I was wheeled to recovery. Whispering nurses next to my head made me feel like they were talking about me (maybe they weren't but in my own cubicle, hearing hushed voices and when not completely with it, it's not hard to think that way).

Obs taken, a cup of tea offered (no toast, unlike my friend experienced) and declined as my throat was really sore despite the numbing spray. Within minutes, in my opinion, a curt nurse said I could get dressed and call for my lift home and took my bed rail down, I felt to prompt me to start to move.

I felt I had barely any time between the start of the procedures and calling my lift - surely that's not right after any form of sedation! Cannula removed and that was it - minimal interaction, barely any kindness, no time to process nor ask any questions that may then have come to mind.

I didn't expect to lay there taking up precious resources all afternoon and I understand it is a routine procedure but, for some it is a really distressing experience and to feel like you are part of a conveyor belt system is not nice. I felt I didn't even have time to read nor process the reports, which actually I later read and did have a question about but now have to wait until my consultant gets in touch to discuss. 

I am a registered healthcare professional working clinically and I always end my interaction with patients by asking if:

a) they are OK,

b) they have any concerns or questions and

c) is there anything else I can do for them - it takes seconds but I hope it demonstrates that they truly matter.

Having now been on the other side of the system, I am surprised and saddened by this glimpse into what others may experience and how they too may feel. We can make all the difference if we really want to - clearly some working in Endoscopy in my opinion, don't.

In fairness, to end, some were friendly and kind enough but it all felt a bit indifferent. I felt they were disinterested and in my view it was definitely not person-centred care.

I will certainly never willingly return for the same procedures if needed, under sedation based on both the clinical and nursing experience I had.