"Lack of care and understanding"

The first scan at the EPAU was very stressful. Nobody told me to have a full bladder so I was told I needed an internal scan. I requested a female doctor however this was met with resistance. I was told there was no female doctor on duty so I would have to reschedule. One of the nurses asked to speak to me, and pulled me to the side by the waiting area and asked me why I didn’t want a male doctor, which I am sure isn’t a very unusual request. The reason being that there has been sexual trauma in my past and I would have been triggered by having a strange man insert anything into my vagina. I ended up getting very upset as it felt like I was asking too much and would miss out on care because of this request.

Eventually the nurse managed to find a female doctor. During the first scan, I was already very upset, and the scan itself was extremely painful. It would have been nice for the nurses involved to offer some consolation or stop moving the device and let me have a break. I feel it’s added to my trauma. They found nothing unusual. Afterwards the nurse who asked me about the reason I didn’t want a male doctor spoke to me and my partner in the office. We asked why I was in so much pain if everything was normal, to which they said that maybe it was because I didn’t want it in there. This is not something anyone should ever say - it implies to me that the pain was caused by my own attitude towards the pregnancy and is therefore my own fault. Wanting nothing more than to get out of there and never return, we unfortunately visited many more times. After taking the termination of pregnancy medication, I ended up in a&e again, via ambulance. I had the most excruciating unbearable pain, heavy blood loss, tachycardia, and delirium. Luckily my partner was with me every step of the way. In a&e I was given morphine and gas & air which took the edge away but didn’t stop the pain. A doctor had to manually remove a lot of pregnancy material that was stuck in my cervix, they did this while I was awake. It was very traumatising. I was dehydrated and exhausted and still in pain. Eventually I went home with more codeine and given a number to call (the epau) if the pain or bleeding cos worse. I rang this number a couple of times as the pain worsened again but was told it was normal and to keep taking the codeine.

Eventually I was given another scan to check on the status of the termination as I was still bleeding 2 weeks later with a positive pregnancy test. This scan showed incomplete pregnancy and was again very painful. The nurse who scanned me did however see a fibroid on top of my womb that was the size of a tangerine. I doubt very much it wasn’t there 2 weeks prior. I asked if that could explain the pain I’ve been having and she said yes. It turns out fibroids grow exponentially during early pregnancy in line with hcg. After this scan, I saw another nurse who told me that because of the fibroid I might have difficulty getting pregnant and keeping a pregnancy in future. Needless to say, this was very upsetting, particularly because I wasn’t allowed my partner in with me for any of the ‘meetings’. I continued to bleed for 6 weeks and developed pain on the RHS abdomen. I went back to my gp who thought it best to send me for another scan as soon as possible and bloods. When I got to the gynae unit, I waited for a while in a very communal ward area, only to be told there was no doctor on so nobody to do the scan. I had to go back the next day. At this scan, with the only doctor who showed care and consideration, I was told yes the fibroid was there and also a large cyst on my rhs ovary - nothing to worry about because neither of these would affect fertility in the future. I mentioned that someone had already told me that the fibroid would affect my ability to get pregnant, to which I was assured that was wrong. The whole thing has been an emotional and physical rollercoaster, completely exhausting and traumatising.

After this, I sat in another office waiting for someone to tell me what the scan showed. I was in there for 15 minutes with all the patients' letters and the PC screen on the previous patient's notes and personal information, including gp address, homes address, name, D.O.B etc. I was concerned that anyone in the room after me could see all my details too. Eventually the staff member came in and after complaining that I didn’t tell reception I was here, asked me if I understood what the scan showed. I found it was very awkward and clinical. I couldn’t wait to leave, and certainly didn’t want to bring up what had been said previously as I wasn’t sure if I would have to go back there again. Overall I found most of the nurses there judgemental, and not genuinely caring or understanding. I hope that through writing this, which has been difficult in itself, some things may change for the people who have to use the service in future.