"Trying to get my elderly mother discharged"

My mother was admitted to hospital to have an operation to remove cancer. It was totally successful. She’s been confused for a couple of years and we were told that this could be due to her medication or the cancer.

After her operation she was declared fit and well by her doctor but the discharge liaison nurse told me that my mother had had a diagnosis of dementia two years ago. Now they won’t let her come home. My father was her full time cater until recently.

During lockdown due to the Covid 19, they were shielding and we would call and drop off shopping but weren’t really that involved as my dad has always done a wonderful job of caring for her and she is still doing a lot for herself. She was due to go into hospital to have the cancer removed and we were all very nervous. On the morning she refused to go. My dad called me at six in the morning but I was asleep. I woke at half six and called him back on his mobile. No answer. I called the house phone and my mother said he’d gone back to bed. I went straight to their house. He’d taken an overdose.

He was taken to hospital and thankfully made a full recovery. He said he was just frustrated that he couldn’t get her ready for such an important occasion and that despite numerous hospital appointments, tests and scans we were no nearer finding out why she was acting so strangely. We were told she didn’t have dementia. He’s very ashamed of what he did.

The hospital released him and I spoke with them and they said they believed that it was due to being isolated during lockdown and the frustration at no diagnosis for my mother. Now the hospital have said she was diagnosed in 2018. I have all the correspondence from the hospitals and there is no mention of a dementia diagnosis. They are keeping her in hospital and whilst I can’t fault the medical care they are giving her, her mental health is really suffering. We want her home and she is desperate to be home. She’s in a room on her own due to covid, there’s no windows and she just sits in a chair all day. I feel she would benefit by being home, I’ve said that my sister and I will support my dad with all aspects of her care but they want her to go to an assessment unit. She calls me several times a day and is distraught. She just wants to come home and we want her back. I understand that we will need outside support and we will jump through hoops to get her home. There’s nothing physically wrong with her now and she has been discharged by her doctor. However, she’s still languishing in that hospital room. She thinks she’s done something wrong and that she’s in her prison. It’s breaking our hearts. What can we do. I fear for her mental health and my father’s. What can we do?