"Maybe being too trusting"

My story began in June 2023. I had a pain in my right shin and I thought it may be a return of a cellulitis I had suffered a few years previously.  I was given antibiotics and then a second prescription for antibiotics, they did not help. A locum GP examined my leg which had now developed a small sore patch (about size of pinky fingernail). They said they would refer to dermatology at Borders General Hospital as they thought it may be skin cancer (squamous cell).

End of October dermatologist referred me to St Johns Hospital, Livingston as they thought skin cancer too. Beginning of November I saw a consultant who said they would operate and do skin graft and should heal in a about 2-3 weeks, at worst heal in 6 weeks. Still about size of fingernail!!!!

In November 2023 I had operation at St Johns and discovered skin graft taken from groin not thigh as planned and wound about 6 inches by 3 inches. Attended dressings area at St Johns weekly initially and 2 months later was eventually advised that skin graft had failed and my choices were, try another skin graft but may fail again or, continue with dressings. Oh and the good news was that pathology result was no skin cancer!

So six months later and wound is still about 80% of post-op size. I am doing the dressings myself every day and travelling to St Johns every 3 to 4 weeks for wound to be checked and to collect more dressings.

I am still in constant pain and have had lots of different painkillers. I was virtually unable to walk for a long time but can walk now though not far and not fast.

I feel this has taken over my life and destroyed it. I feel I'm not the person I was. I often need to sleep during the day, I feel so sad and weepy at times and so let down as treatment was supposed to make things better, not make things so much worse!  I can't plan ahead, only go out if a necessity, can't socialise and can't play green bowls which I really miss. I feel angry and frustrated and helpless and useless and facing a bleak future compared to the future I had before this  happened.

I want to know why a biopsy was not done at some stage, I trusted that the experts knew for sure that it was a skin cancer and I was happy to have the operation on that understanding but it is really hard to cope with all this ongoing pain and everything else when, in fact, I did not need the operation at all!

I have tried to convince myself it is all in the past and that cannot be changed but I hope that my experience will make other people aware they maybe should request a biopsy or maybe that should just be standard practice!