"I feel very let down"

I have been a mental health service user for over 20 years. Recently I found myself not sleeping at all.

Day 1- I called 111 at 9pm and I conveyed to them I was in danger of harming myself and was in fact suicidal. I was told an ambulance would be sent. At 4am someone from the ambulance called me and apologised for the delay in attending. He wanted to convey me to A&E for a mental health assessment. I declined this as I was by now under the influence of my substantial bedtime medication. He advised me to contact the AMHT in the morning.

Day 2- I telephoned my local AMHT duty worker and advised them of my distress the previous night and I still felt I was a danger to myself. I was told my situation would be discussed at today's meeting and then someone would contact me. When I didn't hear from them I called and was told my situation would now be raised tomorrow. I told them I was upset and felt I needed support today. I was told I needed to use my self soothing techniques.

Day 3 -The next day I called 2/3 times and was told the meeting was later in the day. I received a call near the end of the day and was told to use coping strategies. I became upset and explained I had tried all of my techniques and I was now in crisis. 

Day 4- The following day my CPN called me and advised the psychiatrist had arranged a prescription for 7 days of sleeping tablets. This was approximately 84hours since I had first reached out for help!

I am hugely disappointed at the lack of support I received when in crisis with my mental health. In the conversation with my CPN I was told the crisis staff did not know me personally so were not aware I very rarely call for extra support. I find it ridiculous that appropriate person centred support can only be given if the individual patient is known by the member of staff on duty. I now have no confidence going forward that I would receive appropriate care, support and treatment if I am ever in a similar situation. The relationship I have with AMHT has been tarnished and I feel very let down. The only person to show me true care and compassion was the paramedic from the ambulance service.

I feel it is telling that the Where Do I Go For Treatment signposting for mental health is two charities. I feel I only managed to come out the other side of this crisis with the help of some amazing friends.