"I have saved this page as a favourite"

I've been suffering with anxiety for around 1 year now. I'm in my mid 30's and never experienced anything like this before.

I've been suffering with terrible anxiety due to the life style and choices my siblings / parents make. They always make bad choices drugs, alcohol and crime.

I dont live very close to them or see them often now, as I have my own family and husband and I dont want to live in that lifestyle. However I still cant stop the worrying and anxiety attacks thinking about them, wishing they would change, hoping they are ok (violence involved). I put off calling them, I put off Messaging them, I dont visit , I dread ever seeing them! When I do see them my anxiety attacks heighten. I have kids of my own and I never ever want them to go down this path, hence why I have as little contact as possible.

I still have anxiety attacks thinking what if my kids choose drink and drugs! I feel like with the upbringing I had I was determined to not live this life. I was determined my kids would have a great childhood and I would help and guide them in everyway I could to enable them to live a happy healthy adult life. This I am doing still primary school age but I work my backside off, I spend as much time with my kids as possible! I have fun with my kids! My kids are my life, I tell them daily how much I love them... something I never felt or grew up with! Everything I didnt have, I wanted my kids to have and I'm doing it.

I just can't control my anxiety when I start thinking ahead. 

Its affecting my sleep, my work, my eating, my bowels, my whole life!

I have been taking medication from the doctor to try and help, which it does to and extent with the physical symptoms but it doesn't stop the attacks completely. Today I found the webpage "NHS Inform: anxiety self-help guide".

And just WOW! I loved this! Having completed the self help guide I was strangely calm, I felt positive and I couldn't believe it. I have saved this page as a favourite, going forward during and attack I am going to sit down and go through the steps... 

Having tried many different things from keeping myself busy, watching tv, ready books, meditation... nothing helped! 

This page I found absolutely on point , it really helped me. It really takes you through step by step and it encourages you to think about why you're anxious, how you got to that point and how to change your thinking! 

Well done and Thank you I am sitting here at almost 4am... having been up all night with my anxiety feeling hopeful and excited that I might have found a solution to my anxiety 😀