"Effects of the menopause on mental health"

Around May 2022 I suddenly developed dreadful anxiety. This led to a slow decline in my mental well being. I started to lose weight and couldn’t sleep, I was restless and becoming a stranger to myself, close family and friends.

In August I eventually realised I needed help and went to my local GP. I saw a clinician who recommended Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) treatment and antidepressants. She also put me forward for counselling.

I started on a low dose of HRT in the September and the guidelines state that you need to be on this medication for at least 3 months to start to feel the effect. 3 months later I wasn’t any better and my mental health continued to decline.  

A second HRT treatment was prescribed, stronger than the first, but after another 3 months still nothing, so back to the doctors only to be prescribed a 3rd HRT treatment again stronger than the last for another 3 months.

While all this is going on I was contacted by Inclusion and was offered 6 weeks of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT).  It was over the phone as Covid was still in the air.  It became pretty obvious that CBT wasn’t the right therapy for me, I was now so poorly that the last thing I wanted to do was to be actively changing things, and doing certain exercises at home! I just wasn’t strong enough.

Eventually the counsellor suggested I try talking therapy and referred me back to Inclusion. I think it was around May 2023 when I was contacted and told that I could attend the Grays Health Clinic and have face to face counselling.

I started attending therapy with Leila, my face to face counsellor. I felt safe with Leila and she gave me a safe space to talk about anything I wanted to. She could see something in me that I couldn’t and she made me feel human again for that hour session.  Leila could see how poorly I was and she kept extending our time together.

By now I had come off the HRT, and went onto antidepressants. I hated taking the tablet each morning not knowing what they were doing to me but I knew I still needed help so tried to put the possible side effects out of my head.

I continued with my weekly sessions with Leila and found comfort in being able to talk to her about difficult feelings and behaviours.  She was always so supportive and made me realise that I couldn’t help the way I was behaving but in time things would change.  

Leila continued to extend the help and I was very grateful of that. Eventually after 21 sessions Leila and I parted company, but she had given me all the tools I needed to get better. It was difficult at first, I missed our sessions but I also knew that it was time for me to make the necessary changes in my life to aid my recovery. 

In February 2024, I made the decision to come off the antidepressants, and also decided to drastically change my diet and start to drink a lot more water each day. I also tried to have a positive mindset which also helped.

Today some 4 weeks after ditching all medication I have totally found myself again and I feel fantastic. I have a wonderful family who stuck by me during my darkest of days and I was lucky enough to have been allocated a brilliant councillor who I will be forever in her debt.

I have entered the Chelmsford marathon and will be running in memory of a dear friend who has recently passed.  Life is for living and that’s what I intend to do going forward.