"Getting the support I needed to work through stuff"

In 2022, I asked my GP to refer me to Psychology. I was already struggling with anxiety and depression following a breakup, had a lot of difficulties with my family, friends and my work. I was struggling to cope and make sense of it all, I felt overwhelmed and lost, I had previously sought out support before but this time I was serious. I was ready to really tackle my problems and what was causing them.

It was 2023 when I had my first assessment. I initially struggled to open up about all the issues I was having and had a lot of issues following the assessment as it was really the first time I properly opened up about them. I realised I was burying a lot of past traumas and difficulties and how much these affected me.

Following some serious financial issues, I moved back to my parents' for a couple of weeks. My mental health took a huge dip despite being there. I felt like I was a burden to my family, I felt like a failure, but I kept pushing on till suddenly one night on the way back home to Dundee following staying there for a few weeks I started having palpitations whilst I was driving. I struggled to breathe, I felt pains in my body, I thought I might've been having a heart attack. But it was a panic attack, I was terrified but thankfully I calmed down and went back to my parents, took the week off work and under the advice of a friend I started going to Andy's Man Club. It became clear to me that I needed to do something about the panic attacks and talk about the issues I was having.

It was one of the best decisions I made and within weeks my sessions with the psychological therapies team had started. Initially I felt positive because I felt like I was finally taking steps to improve my mental health and that I was getting the support I needed to work through stuff. Within weeks my relationships with my friends and family improved, I was enjoying my job a lot more and things seemed to be on the up. I found the sessions helpful but very challenging at first especially when discussing the more difficult aspects of what I'd gone through. My psychologist was non-judgmental and gave me tools to work through which gave me a sense of purpose that things were going to improve if I put the work in, not just in sessions but out as well.

Unfortunately, my work stresses boiled over at an event involving friends from work, this happened on the week of my birthday, I'd already had some personal issues with some people from work, but they'd never hit me quite like this. I was low and felt depressed by it and thought that if I addressed the issue with the people that I would feel better. I didn't, I spiralled, my anxiety was the worst it's ever been. I was having panic attacks daily and just kept thinking I could push through them, but ended up in hospital that week due to concerns about my heart as I was unable to settle. I got the all clear, the GP gave me anti-depressants, benzodiazepines and a month’s sick line. I was at my lowest ebb and developed health anxiety; I was checking my pulse constantly and struggled with the physical symptoms I was having.

I continued attending my sessions with the psychologist during and after this and developed coping strategies for dealing with my anxiety. I kept thought records, activity sheets, learned about different thinking styles, adopted new methods, and managed to get myself back on my feet again. I’ve had ongoing struggles with my anxiety but since getting the support from my psychologist, I’ve felt more equipped to deal with these difficulties and am in a much better place from when I started treatment. I hope that I can continue this progress beyond the end of my sessions and continue all the positive work I’ve done since I started. Time will tell.