"I feel failed by the system"

I was admitted to North Ward, Irwell Unit, Bury.

I was initially with the home treatment team. One member of the home treatment team worked really closely and well with me and did their best to help keep me in the community, but I became too difficult to manage so I agreed to an informal admission, this being my first admission to an adult acute ward.

I previously was on Hope unit and Horizon unit, and then was moved to a low secure unit which was Cygnet Mulberry ward. And then was transferred to a locked rehab and I was later discharged from that admission.

And then I was then out of hospital and was admitted to Tameside Hospital, Taylor ward. But was only there for a crisis admission and was then discharged a week later back home, and then I was admitted to North ward.

I met with the doctor on the ward and didn’t feel I was cared about. They let me go home, despite me trying to end my life that same morning.

Following this I was then admitted back to the same ward the next day after being brought to A&E on a section 136 by the police, and again I met with the same doctor and they let me go again, despite anything I said to them. This happened the 3rd time and I was committed to wanting to end everything, so I made up a lie to them and said I was fine, so again they discharged me from a section 2.

The next day I was in a really bad mess and was again taken to A&E on a section 136, and my community psychiatrist came to see me and they and 2 others placed me on a section 3.

I was sent back to the same ward (North ward) the day my best friend ended her life. Then I met with the same doctor from North ward, for them to say to me we are not giving up on you, which in my view is absolute trash, as they let me discharge on 3 occasions previous to this in the same week. I believe they did it because my best friend killed herself. They didn’t listen to anything I said.

I didn't like the ward staff and didn't feel cared about. I was discharged from there 3 months later, and people have been in this same situation as me. I think people with personality disorders are often treated as just another number in the system, failed by the system.