"HSV2 - Herpes"

When I was 20 I was in an abusive relationship with an older partner. He had many sexual partners throughout our relationship and he was aware that he had HSV2 but chose not to disclose this information with anyone for over 7 years. Within 3 months of seeing this person I started to get extremely poorly, losing weight, constant sickness and anxiety then the ‘episodes’ started leaving me covered in blisters on my genitals and experiencing constant flu like symptoms. I did question my partner but he gaslit me into thinking I was crazy and it was a ‘shaving rash’ but I know my body. For 6 months i was in agony, and I was back and forth to the clinic trying to get a diagnosis but all tests came back negative every time.

I then had my worst ‘episode’ and went to the clinic with the blisters present ( in the past I’d only gone when there weren’t any physical blisters). The doctor didn’t even have to examine me physically to be able to tell what it was. My whole world felt like it had collapsed and at first I didn’t understand what the doctor was saying/describing. I’d heard of Herpes (cold sores on the mouth) but not to the extent to think that my symptoms were related.

It’s been four years since and I am in a happy, healthy long term relationship with someone who fully accepts me and doesn’t see stigma. I’m so grateful as even now I do still get episodes, especially when I’m feeling depressed/anxious, drastic changes in weather and occasionally when I’m on my period. It’s important to remember that these diagnosis aren’t unusual, rare or your fault. You are still you!

For a long time I struggled to accept myself, I felt tricked and angry that someone had done this to me without my consent or even giving me the choice to decide.

Telling a partner/sexual partner can be so daunting but since then I haven’t had one person turn me down or say anything discouraging. I’ve told most of my immediate friends and family, this was scary as a lot of people aren’t educated on Herpes or any sort of STI/STD in general. It wasn’t easy at all and I had to explain a lot, but the support I have received since has made all the difference in helping to break the stigma and understand that this is life, it can happen to anyone at anytime.

I don’t take my medication everyday as I don’t need to anymore, only when I’m experiencing an episode or I start feeling run down just to make sure. Diet, exercise and mental health do play a huge role in controlling the episodes as what you put into your body comes back out, so eating good, trying to exercise when you can and learning to control your emotions and regulate your hormones can help massively in making what may seem like a negative not that negative at all! I hope this helps somebody x