"Mental Health Care"

I had attended my local A&E due to not feeling safe. This was after a previous attendance and advice given on what I should do if things weren't better.

When I did see a team member from the mental health team it was of no use at all. Throughout the conversation it was more about how great they are. I was told I open up a lot more to them than another staff member (not true). I was told we have a good connection and they really understand me/get me. 

Religion/Spirituality was brought with regards to death and the right time to go. When it's the person time they go to a better place. They then told me they will stop the bible bashing. 

I attended due to not feeling safe and actively feeling suicidal. Yet there was no conversation about this at all. I was asked if I would let them be maternal and get me physically checked out. That we can do that and then discuss anything else. 

I believe from when I arrived that the decision had already been made with regards to an admission. Before I left I was asked, what is it you aren't telling me?. I was told by the staff member, there aren't any beds and I wouldn't admit you anyway. Please tell me why I would then open up after this and then be told that there are a lot of unwell people on the ward.

I was finally asked if I will be safe getting home. I was very clear to express that I don't have a choice. I have had enough of the trusts crisis services and the constant inability for a number of staff to take my needs seriously and make it about themselves. They also seem to know everything about you and your feelings. This last encounter I was told many times what I was feeling and why. That I am resilient and strong. In all honesty they are just repeating my needs being dismissed. I will not beg to be taken seriously or to be heard. It took a lot for me to actually ask for what I needed and it wasn't easy. I won't repeat that mistake. 

I really do hope that sooner rather than later someone seriously listens to how people are being treated when in a crisis. And actually do something about it. I've raised things time and time again with no change. 

I feel sorry for anyone who may present with similar needs to my own or have been judged the way I have. Because we have no chance of being given what we need.

I find is disgusting and sadly believe it will get worse.