"Kindness, understanding & listening ears"

My 1yr old daughter is my 2nd pregnancy, 13 yrs after my 1st pregnancy with identical twin girls. My 1st pregnancy was an extremely difficult one resulting in the girls being born almost 9wks premature. I had a big maternity team involved with my twin pregnancy and a lot of support after their birth. Fantastic help from the medical teams at Ninewells and Arbroath.

My 2nd pregnancy was difficult but there was less involvement by the maternity team, nurses and doctors & even though there was less involvement, I can’t fault the care given to me and my baby. My Midwife Debbie from Arbroath Infirmary was amazing, professional, funny, warm, supportive and kind! We also had a lovely Trainee Midwive Marcy, she was very attentive from Day 1, she showed a genuine interest of care & support. Even asking to come with us on the day of my C Section to give support , she was excited as this would also be her 1st birth. We will always be grateful to the Debbie & Marcy and we wish Marcy all the best, we know she will make a brilliant Midwife.

After my daughters birth, my family experienced alot of difficult & emotional times. My father died suddenly, my teen daughters were going through a very troubling, stressful time, my mums terminal cancer was beginning to take its toll on her body and creating more health issues & then Our landlord gave us notice on our home as he wanted to sell. I was physically & mentally exhausted. I felt a range of emotions and extreme guilt because I didn’t think I was giving my best to my beautiful new baby girl and even less to my teen daughters. Everyone assumed because I managed twin babies & I was an EYP & worked with children 0-5 everyday, I somehow could do this easily but I tried to explain I was nearing 40yrs old, I had 2 teen daughters (stressful lol) & I was going through the hardest events of my life whilst trying to remain strong for my family.

I met my health visitor and like any mum, dad or Carer can relate, you want to disguise your real feelings & appear like you’re handling everything perfectly, but I was too tired to disguise how I really felt. I tried to remember the valuable advice I gave to the parents I worked with, that your health visitor isn’t their to judge you on your home, your choice of lifestyle, if your still in your pjs, or if your baby is still in their pjs, there there to support the health and development of our babies & other children, as well as the health and wellbeing of us parents & carers. They are there to give us the guidance & support - not judgement & that’s exactly what my health visitors gave me and I am very grateful for the extra time they sat in my living room on each visit & listened to me because sometimes that’s all we need, a kind listening ear, & someone to remind you that it isn’t easy but your doing a good job.

Despite being qualified to care for young children, it’s different with your own, you have natural doubts, you have questions, you need that reassurance you’re doing a good job.

Louise, Amanda and Anna made me feel safe, they all gave me a confidential space & time to talk about how I was feeling with no judgement, their support helped my emotional wellbeing and at no time, made me feel like I wasn’t doing a good job with my baby, in fact they praised the job I was doing when things elsewhere in my life were so difficult. This helped my confidence & really reminded me I was doing my best and that was enough. They spoke about the different services available (depending on where you live). They may also ask for your consent to let your GP know how you are feeling so that both professionals can work together to support you. Again, there is no judgement, they mean no offence, they want you to be honest, honesty doesn’t automatically mean you’re flagged up on “the system”. That’s just nonsense, being honest, asking for help can ensure you can get wider support for you & your family including things like housing, finance, benefits, other family family help services, advice on relationships or where to access peer support or support for specific conditions and disabilities.

They're there to help and support you in between your scheduled visits, especially if you are struggling emotionally or in any other way. You can tell your health visitor about any concerns, including any worries about your or your partner’s physical or emotional health.

I’m sad I won’t see my Health Visitors until my daughter is 2 now, they also have moved on to new positions and I wish them all the best ! Thank you to the Arbroath team for their continued kindness, understanding and listening ears.

Being listened to

Seeing the whole me

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Nurses