"My pregnancy journey"

In August 2021  my partner and I decided to try for a child. We got pregnant very quickly and found out we were expecting our child in October. When we went for our 12-week scan we were told that there was an increased nuchal translucency and would need more tests. 

We had genetic testing which suggested that there was a low risk of a genetic condition causing the increased nuchal translucency. It was only at our 20-week scan that we found out our daughter's heart had not developed properly and would not be able to pump blood once she was born. This meant that we made the difficult decision to have a TFMR to ensure that our daughter did not endure any suffering.

During this time the team at the obstetrics and scan unit were fantastic. They realised that this was the start of an extremely difficult journey and treated us as such, making us feel a level of comfort that we treasured at this time. We were introduced to Allison, who became a huge part of our story and explained everything to us in a way we could take in, and supported us in making sure that we were informed at every stage.

At this point we were also introduced to Rhian from the maternity bereavement services. Rhian became instrumental in us being able to cope with the loss of our daughter, and moving forward afterwards, while always remembering our baby girl. I do not know how we would have managed without Rhian, she is a credit to DRI and the NHS in general. She goes above and beyond to ensure that she is there for the families she works with, including coming to our daughter's funeral on her day off.

We gave birth to our daughter in February 2022, after delays in our treatment due to both my partner and myself having covid during this time. During this period, Allison and Rhian were in contact with us regularly to check on how we were and explain what was happening. When we gave birth, the team in the maternity wards had been informed of our situation and treated us so gently and kindly in what must have been a difficult situation for them as well.

Emma, the midwife who delivered our daughter, was fantastic. She explained what would happen, and how we would be able to stay with our daughter until we were ready. She made sure we were not disturbed, and looked after the 3 of us during our time in the hospital. She dressed and washed our daughter  and arranged for a photographer to come and take photos of the 3 of us a family, and explained all of the formal processes that we had to go through, and sat with us while it was explained by the doctors.

After this my partner and I went through genetic testing, which was a complicated process, but again, the staff who supported us made sure that everything was explained so we could make informed decisions (apologies, I can't remember the name of the doctor).

After a while my partner and I decided that the time was right to try for another baby. We found out that we were pregnant again in November 2022. At this point we had not had the results from the genetic tests, and when we contacted Rhian and Allison about this they were keen to chase the results to help with the new pregnancy. The results showed that they had found no genetic condition that caused our daughter's heart defect.

We are automatically put under consultant led care, and were in the scan unit regularly for scans and tests. Every time we went we felt scared, but were reassured by the midwifes and sonographers, and treated in a way that helped to put us at ease. We would also see Allison and Rhian regularly, which helped us to feel a level of consistency throughout the pregnancy, and they would always come and chat with us and see how we were.

Everything went well with the second pregnancy and in July 2023 I went into labour. As I was far along with my labour when I rang triage (fully dilated before I felt any pain) they rang the ambulance, who arrived quickly and ensured that I was treated with dignity while they got us to hospital. The ambulance crew were brilliant and reassured me all the way that everything would be fine.

When we got there we met Julie who was the midwife who was with us when our daughter was born. Our daughter was delivered by a student midwife (whose name I can't remember). Both women were fantastic, and given that we had forgotten a lot of things as we had to rush out of the house, they made sure our labour was as comfortable as it could be, and our daughter was born within half an hour of arriving at hospital. Julie stayed with us while I was treated afterwards, and even suggested the name for our daughter. In the delivery suite we were visited by Rhian who had brought us a rainbow blanket for Rosie. 

Throughout my experience all the staff we have been in contact with at Doncaster Royal Infirmary have been fantastic, and have played no small part in ensuring that we now have our lovely little family. I will be eternally grateful to all of them for the part they have played in our journey.