"Access to specialist depression service"

I have long-term treatment-resistant depression, I've attempted suicide and spent two periods in psychiatric units of 4.5 months and 1 month.

I've been stable on isocarboxazid for 3 years, prescribed by a psychiatrist at Nottingham's Specialist Depression Service. Recently I've started to feel depressed again, the GP referred me to Rushcliffe Local Mental Health Team (LMHT) for onward referral to the Specialist Depression Service (who can take ex-service user's on for short periods to adjust meds etc.).

The GP did this because isocarboxazid is rarely used nowadays and has many interactions with other meds, and affects metabolisation of certain foods, therefore should be prescribed or dosage altered by a specialist psychiatrist.

I had an assessment call from someone at Rushcliffe Local Mental Health Team LMHT who refused to listen to me and said the GP can alter the dosage, and refused to take me onto their service. They were so rude to me that I suffered an autistic meltdown and was unable to work for the rest of the day. So I went back to the GP who consulted with a senior partner - who agreed that a GP should not alter dosage of isocarboxazid and that I should see the Specialist Depression Service., so they've referred me back to Rushcliffe LMHT.

I'm dreading another assessment call like the last one. I have no confidence that I or my GP will be listened to, and as the LMHT are the gatekeepers to the service that I need, I worry that by the time I can access the specialist psychiatrist my mental health will have deteriorated significantly again, costing the NHS much more for my care, potentially risking my life and definitely putting my ability to work and earn enough to survive at risk.

Also I'm the carer for my wife, who's a wheelchair user, so I'm terrified of becoming unable to care for her. I've been similarly let down by LMHTs in the past - Gedling LMHT refused to believe the Specialist Depression Service existed, delaying my referral by over 7 months and directly leading to my second stay in a psychiatric unit.

I hope that doesn't happen this time as it's taken me 6 years to recover from that experience and return to full health and earn a living again. But I'm terrified that it'll happen again.