"Pain and trauma from saline injections"

I gave birth to my first child in December of last year. I've been wanting to share my experience for some time, but I have struggled to find the words to really share my story and experience. 

Firstly, I want to commend the staff - the midwives, the doctors, 

anaesthesiologists, care staff. You are wonderful, overworked and still wonderful. 

My labour was long - it started at 1am on Thursday and my baby wasn't born until 1pm on Saturday. As it was my first time, I was frantically counting each contraction, timing when to go to the hospital. My pain was really surreal due to the baby's position on my back.

On my second visit to the triage unit, I was really disappointed to be sent home again - the midwife could see my pain and my struggle. It was at this point the midwife offered me saline injections. I had taken a course on pain management and at no point had this ever been shared with me. I asked for more information and the midwife happily left the room to find it. They returned a short while later, with four injections and multiple midwifes.

This was the kind that had to be administered two at a time into my lower back. I gulped at them, but knew it might take some pain away. They told me to brace for pain, but I guessed it couldn't be worse than my labour. I leaned to my partner for support, but the pain was unbearable, like a thousand bee stings at once. An injection of hot water placed under my skin. I screamed and I cried and felt like I was being murdered. I ripped my hands from my partner and started to lunge to pull them out myself. I begged them to not put the second set in. I felt traumatised and in my mind, I questioned why anyone would give this.

The process by which it happened made me feel like it was a tick box exercise, one that the midwife needed to complete to be deemed efficient. The other midwife who gave it came to me simply said sorry they had to come in there and do that to me. I felt horrible that this was part of their job. 

I couldn't have the other two, at this point, the midwifes told me it wasn't going to be effective. So the pain was in turn for nothing and I had to go home in more back pain and unable to put my hot water bottle on it. 

Later, I could sense frustration from an anaesthesiologist who I shared my story to. They were angered that this was being offered as a pain management. It has, with no pun intended, left a sting to my experience. I felt nothing when I later accepted the epidural. 

In the end, he was born by c-section as he was back-to-back and my labour had failed to progress on its own. The doctor who presented me with the final decision to go for c-section was wonderful. They made me feel like everything was still my decision, while still reminding me gently that this was the safest delivery. They told me that although this is classified as an emergency c-section, it's the best kind. The baby was born a healthy 9lbs10oz and everyone in the theatre laughed at where he had been hiding. 

Overall, labour has not scared me. It is true, you forget natural pain and you have a beautiful baby to make it easier. But I will never forget, and I will live with the trauma of artificial pain from those saline injections. I urge the NHS to reconsider them and to provide proper info to women opting for them.