"I felt like a statistic"

I had been experiencing cramping and heavy blood loss around 9 1/2 weeks pregnant and after an admission to A&E and a very calm experience in the early pregnancy ward, I was discharged home with painkillers to manage the pain.

At 10+2 weeks I was asked in for a scan, 5 days after my symptoms of miscarriage started. I sat in the shared waiting room and was called in for a scan. The sonographer asked how far along I thought I was and when I said I was just over 10 weeks, they said “there’s no 10-week-old baby in there”.

I was then put in a small room to wait with my partner, but at no point did anyone say the words miscarriage or pregnancy loss. It was never explained to either of us what had happened.

I was then called back through the waiting room with all the heavily pregnant woman sitting and the women coming down from the maternity unit with their new born babies, to a blood room directly off of the waiting room where I got my blood taken.

5/6 weeks later I was asked back to the hospital for bloods as my HCG levels were still high enough to show as pregnant on a pregnancy test. When I arrived for my appointment they had no idea I was coming, despite asking me in the previous day. I then had to explain I had had a miscarriage in the waiting room, and again had to share the space with all the very happy expectant mothers.

I am a very strong person and I coped okay, having to share the space with pregnant woman while I had just lost my baby. However I am aware how triggering this could be for some people.

My experience made me feel like I was just the 1 in 4 who was experiencing pregnancy loss. While the midwives and nurses working in the pregnancy unit may see miscarriages every day and are maybe used to it, it was happening to me and was my loss. They made me feel like a statistic and lacked compassion and empathy.