We have all just been through covid so my mental health was very fragile.
I felt lost and a little bit out of control, scared really as to what I wanted to happen, not wanting to be here any more, I think a number of things got me to this point, being fragile, having a knee operation that put me out for 6 to 8 weeks, having an over active mind, studying and all the general rubbish that we all tend to have to deal with nowadays.
It spiralled quite quickly it was like I was caught in this viscous cycle of not eating, not sleeping, no energy to do anything, not keeping up with my meds properly, feeling worthless and what is the actual point.
I’ve suffered with my mental health most of my adult life mainly anxiety and an overactive mind and I can generally push through most things but this time it felt stronger, like I was lost, lonely and quite scared as to the fact I just wanted to end it all.
I didn’t have the energy to fight it, even if I could of worked out how too, this is when I knew I had to reach out. It’s not just about me it’s about my family too, the people who care about me, my daughter and partner need me.
I didn’t want to go through the doctors as it can be a long process and I was desperate, but learnt that I could refer myself, making that first phone call to inclusion was the best thing I could have done. I was in a bad place and needed some help. From the first phone call to my very last appointment I’ve felt looked after throughout.
After a few phone assessments and a 3-4 week call once a week to decide which would be the best route for me which was well worth it, I was put on a course for high level CBT.
I have had this once before so was a bit apprehensive as I found it didn’t help me but this time I wanted it to work, I needed it to work, so I put my all into it.
As with everything there are parts that are quite hard but I found this time I was so open and receptive to all the information and tools that were given to me that I really started to enjoy doing it and seeing a difference in the way I was thinking, feeling, approaching and dealing with things differently. And I’d say that the tools given to me on a weekly basis, the one to one face calls and putting hard work in has helped me be at a place where I feel different now and I’m super proud of myself too for getting this far and still putting the hard work in.
But, none of this would have been possible without Chris, he is amazing at what he does. He engages and it actually feel like he cares and understands which is so important. He made me feel relaxed from the off and really got me working on things and seeing things from a totally different perspective. Lots of homework was set which is where the hard work is at, but, he made everything seem so simple and doable. He was very supportive and is a credit to your organisation and has helped me no end and for that I thank him. He also has inspired me to want to look into being a therapist myself so I can help others - what a feeling that would be.
Even at the end of my course I still feel supported. If ever I need anything Chris said to contact the team if I need them, but now is my turn. I suppose you get out of life what you put in. Teach yourself to be you’re own therapist keep using the tools given especially the monthly self assessment looking at things in black and white makes things so much clearer - well for me they do and like I said I wanted this but needed it more.
I’m glad I made that call because I honestly feel like a different person, so much more strong, equipped and ready for what ever happens and taking one day at a time and excepting that life has lots of ups and downs it’s how we choose to see them and deal with them.
A massive thank you to Chris and the team at inclusion and if ever you need a trainee give me a shout lol
Much love
"I honestly feel like a different person"
About: Inclusion Thurrock (Talking Therapies) Inclusion Thurrock (Talking Therapies) RM17 6NB
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