"Traumatic hysteroscopy"

After post-menopausal bleeding on HRT I was referred for a transvaginal scan at the hospital. They sent some leaflets, but as my letter said nothing about a hysteroscopy I didn't take paracetamol beforehand. The scan showed I had thickening of the uterine lining and I was sent to the gynaecology department to talk about the results (I thought).

Once there I felt quite pressured into having the hysteroscopy, even though I wasn't prepared. I explained I'd had painful cervical surgery before and had a retroverted uterus and cervix, plus smears were very difficult and painful.

The consultant made me worry that I shouldn't wait for a general anaesthetic but get it all done now (as there was a risk I could have endometrial cancer).

As soon as I got onto the table I knew I'd made a big mistake. They gave me an injection into my cervix which was excruciating. The consultant struggled to find my cervix and it hurt a lot. When they tried to get the scope in I was crying out in pain. The nurse holding my hand tried distraction techniques, chatting on about holidays, but it was no use. The pain was overwhelming. When the consultant tried to take a biopsy on the pippelle, it was agony. They kept going in again and again and asking their assistant if they'd got enough yet. 

I felt like a piece of meat. It was barbaric and I couldn't believe this was happening to me.

The agony seemed to go on and on.

When it was over I was shaking too much to move and they gave me something to drink. I was taken to a recovery room for 20 minutes and given tea and a biscuit.

I didn't know I'd have this procedure so hadn't brought any sanitary protection. I was bleeding heavily and shaking but just wanted to call my husband and go home. I somehow got to the toilet and had to use loo roll to mop myself. I was crying and the toilet was full of blood.

When my husband arrived I was too traumatised to tell him what had happened at first. I was rocking with pain. I couldn't sleep. In the dark when I remembered what they'd done I'd cry out and weep. I bled for over a week. I couldn't be intimate with my husband for months. I had PTSD flashbacks all the time. It was one of the worst experiences of my life.

When I had another bleed a month ago I nearly didn't report it to my GP as I was so so scared I might have to go though this again. But then when I thought about concern my family I knew I should get it investigated. The GP was kind and understanding and gave me an examination. She understood my drama and said she would have to refer me for a hysteroscopy, but this time I could have a General Anaesthetic. I was nervous but I went to meet the gynaecologist team, who were really apologetic and understanding, and I was booked in. 

I had my second hysteroscopy yesterday under GA and the experience, although nerve-wracking, was so much better. I didn't feel a thing, and I got care and pain relief straight after. I rested for a few hours and then could go home. Today I have minimal bleeding. I wish they'd listened to me the first time round and taken my fears seriously.