"I do appreciate the work you do, but sadly on this occasion I did not experience that firsthand."

Firstly I would like to say none of the negative parts of my experience happened in the birthing centre, experience I had there was absolutely amazing, in particular the three  midwives I initially met were incredible and I cannot thank them enough for all their help and support.

I’m sure compared to the experiences of some  women my experience is positive but I really feel I cannot let the time I spent on the postnatal ward after being transferred to the hospital from the birth centre go unnoticed. I had a suspected third degree tear after birth (this actually turned out only to be a second degree) which I was told needed to be repaired in theatre under a spinal block. This was very distressing as I had to leave my newborn and my husband and go and have this repaired by myself. A midwife very kindly stayed with me throughout and I think without their support I would have had a complete meltdown. I couldn’t fault the staff doing the procedure they were all very professional and supportive and though I was very relieved it was only a second degree tear it was bittersweet to know that the spinal block and catheter I had wasn’t actually necessary. It was also unfortunate that due to a delay in the theatre being available I was waiting for some time to go down, couldn’t eat anything even though I was starving and couldn’t even try to feed my baby. I would have been able to forget all of that but unfortunately it continued to go downhill from there.

After the procedure I was taken back to be with my family in the room we had briefly already been in so started to feel much better, then the initial midwife unfortunately had to go and be with someone else and bought in a new midwife whose name I wish I had taken note of. Sadly they did not display the level of care the others had and said we would soon be taken down to the postnatal ward; this had already been spoken about shortly after giving birth as my little boy was going to need to stay in for 24 hours and I was very concerned about my husband having to leave.

I knew there was a slim chance a side family room may be available but we weren’t sure. As soon as they said that, I expressed my concerns again about my husband having to leave and I felt they rudely dismissed my concerns and said I’m not being funny but why do you not want him to leave, which I did not feel was acceptable to ask and did not see why I should have to justify the reasons I wanted to be with my own husband after birthing our child. They said he could not stay past visiting hours and my only other option would be to discharge myself which clearly I wasn’t going to do if my baby had to stay and I still had the catheter.

We were taken down to the postnatal ward and put in a 4 bed bay, it was hot, loud and I felt completely overwhelmed. Again I expressed my feelings to multiple members of staff, I was basically told we couldn’t have a family room and he had to leave. I was also repeatedly told that my catheter was going to have to stay in until the morning as there had been such a delay after giving birth between me going to the toilet (I had been unable to go anywhere as I was waiting so long to go down to theatre) and was told all the various things that could happen if it was taken out too early which frankly just made me more stressed considering I shouldn’t actually have had one in the first place.

We were left to our own devices, I was finally given some food (which we had to ask for) and eventually my husband had to leave. I could write every tiny detail of the night I spent there but I could be writing for hours. I was shocked to find that there was no bin or sink in close proximity to me when I was changing dirty nappies and was dealing with heavy blood loss post birth.

I asked numerous times for my catheter to be emptied as it was getting much heavier and hard to move round the bed whilst attending to my son and was told that wasn’t possible. One of the most difficult things to deal with was hearing another families partner still on the ward after visiting hours and a member of staff asking him if he was staying the night after practically begging for my husband to stay and being told repeatedly no he could not and that the night shift staff would be on hand to help. Other than one staff member I found they were more interested in talking loudly to each other than helping. It was quite difficult to get basic things like water.

Luckily the team in the morning were quick at getting us discharged and I was on my way home the second I had the opportunity.

Our little boy is a dream come true and I am grateful he is here safe but 5 months on the experience sticks with me. I’m sure there are numerous reasons I’ll be given as to why it’s not possible but my experience would have been a hundred times better had I been allowed to remain with the only one person I needed at the time, I truly believe I will never forget the feeling of watching him leave and how I felt that night. I’m sure there are other women that would agree with me and if anything needs to be reviewed, it is the postnatal ward. I understand the NHS is under extreme pressure and I do appreciate the work you do, but sadly on this occasion I did not experience that firsthand.