"Being Bi-Polar"

In 2010 I had Psychosis the rarest form of Post natal depression, 2 months into giving birth. I went into the mother and baby unit at UHW for one night initially and was then placed in Llanfair, Gorwel ward. After 14 days I went back into the mother and baby and was under section 3 until end of January 2011. In February 2012 I came off all medication and almost lost my job and my husband. During the summer in 2012 my eyes started sparkling again and I was enjoying my boy like I missed out on when I was in hospital. When I went back to work in September 2012 I was too hyper, to emotional and all my work colleagues were concerned. I started to relapse, I was pushing myself beyond my limitations because I was finally recieving praise in work, I felt like part of the team again but my marriage was failing and I couldn't sleep.

So when blood tests said nothing was wrong I called my cpn who thought I was BI polar. I admitted myself in October because I couldn't deny that I suffer with manic depression anymore, I couldn't run from it, it is genetic in me I lost my father because he had it and no one knew, my sister is physically and mentally disabled. Putting myself back in Llanfair is one of the hardest things I have done, I had too leave my boy crying, I was petrified but I did it because I trusted the nurses and nursing assistants that got me out of there last time.

But this time I had physical symptoms that were ignored because I am diagnosed bi-polar, I was placed under section 3 when I was voluntary and section 2 28 days would have been plenty. I claimed to be so physically ill that I didn't know I had a mental illness. I didn't have a advocate the first time but this time I needed. one. I lost all my leave and couldn't even go to church over the Christmas period. I am discharged now but still on the sick, nobody could believe how I was treated by certain doctors, going to university doesn't make you qualified in physical and mental illness you have to experience it. I still have physical symptoms which are unsolved, it is not right to link physical and mental health because they are two different things. I hope by writing this it helps people realize that just because you have a mental illness, doesn't mean it is in your head when you are in physical pain, you know your own body regardless of if you have a mental or physical disability.