" I feel the problem is being ignored"

my wife first began to behave in her present manner about 40 years ago. Repeated attempts to interest our GP were unsuccessful. About 3 years ago a visiting practice nurse suggested tests. these were performed. It was found my wife had vascular dementia. The consultant at the time urged her to stop driving. This she did, much to the relief of out family. Her aggressive behaviour and deteriorating judgement would have made an accident very likely. Her attention turned to back seat driving. This had been bad for some time but now became intolerable. I stopped driving 18 months before I would have done otherwise.

Her behaviour worsened. I wrote up what was happening and sent it, which occasional updates to her case nurse at the local psychiatric unit. Eventually she was assessed after 6 group sessions. I was informed by the consultant that she had some dementia but aggression was the prime cause of her behaviour problems. No action of any sort was proposed. The problem seems to be being ignored. Divorced was contemplated and a solicitor briefed but a marked deterioration in her condition (she would ask the same questions a dozen times within about 2 hours) made this impractical because it would have produced a major workload on out daughters. The deterioration was reported to the Loxley unit. There was no response.

Externally she presents a smiling benign lady who likes to be helpful to others. Internally, there are mood swings between high dependence and a quivering desire to find fault, give orders, and insist on talking about things better forgotten. Most of her output relates to life a long time ago with no relevance to today.

There has been no move to adjust her medication. I feel the problem is being ignored whilst it becomes increasingly intolerable.