"Out of hours service, Nottingham city"
Posted by hector (as ),
I was struggling with very bad suicidal thoughts and thoughts of self harm I coped as long as I could without contacting anyone but it got to the point that if I did not speak to someone then I Knew that I was going to do one or the other or maybe both so as I have been told many times that if I am struggling them there is always someone at the other end of the phone so I plucked up the courage to ring the out of hours service.
the call was answered by a member of the county team, I told her that I was really struggling and she said that all the city team were out on visits but she would get them to call me when they got back in but it may be up to an hour so I was left to fight with my thoughts alone.
I waited and waited and waited for the phone to ring telling myself that they would call just to hold on to that thought I waited and waited but the call never came I felt that I could no longer fight on my own.
I feel that if they cannot do what they say they are going to do then they either should not say these things or even be in the job.
I am the one that has to live with the consequences of the things that I have done to get relieve from these thoughts that have over taken me and I feel that they do not care. It makes me feel like they won't even care if I live or die.
I have mostly had only good things to say about them before as they have always supported me quite well but at the moment am feeling let down and very alone.