"I have been labelled BPD despite my diagnosis of depression "

I have been trying to access help for depression for 20 months. In the last four, my Dr has referred me five times to the CMHT, and each time they have said they cannot help me, despite the fact that last year they decided I needed long-term psychotherapy. I also had a CPN for a few months last year which was helpful but that stopped.

I was in hospital for 3 days as a suicide risk last year, after this time I felt like they started ignoring me and took away my CPN. Since then things have got steadily worse despite my best efforts to be ok.

Now I am severely depressed and struggle to even get out of bed every day - and often don't. This is despite me trying so hard everyday. It seems there is no way out and no help for me.

I am pretty sure they have stamped the BPD label on me whilst I was in hospital, despite the fact that I have previosly done the questionnaire's/assessments for BPD and don't have it. However I felt the psychiatrist on the ward seemed to make up whatever he wanted and the staff who seemed actually concerned about me had no power to change his decisions.

I feel I am not receiving any help because of the unfair and untrue BPD label, whilst they totally ignore the main presenting, consistent diagnosis of depression.

I suffer almost nightly night terrors during which I self-harm (no recollection on waking), and also have memories of past painful incidents that come into my mind and are very distressing and debilatating. The way I am treated by the CMHT echoes the terrifying, trapped situations of the past and this seems to be completely counter-productive to recovery.

I just want to get better but I feel like I am being treated as if they just want me to go away and die.