"The lack of service I have received from Cannon House"

I am suffering from Post Natal Depression, lately feeling suicidal. I had a referral from my GP to Cannon House. It took days for my referral to be accepted. Once done I had to wait 2 weeks to get an assessment only to be told at the end of it that I shouldn't have high hopes of staying open to CH because the service is for very ill people. I was told that to be depressed is common after having a baby, to which point i asked if it is common after 15 months and was told yes. Then I asked if it's common even when feeling suicidal and was told yes. I know a few other mums of toddlers of around the age of my little one and they are not depressed, nor feeling suicidal, so I don't understand why I feel so rubbish even if it is such a common thing to suffer.

The decision of whether Canon House was going to offer me its services or not was going to be made this morning, and I was told I was going to get a phonecall during the day to let me know. Two messages have been left asking to get a call back and no-one has contacted me.

I feel like Cannon House is my only hope of help and it has been very difficult to have to chase people up to get support. I have call on more than 3 ocassions asking to talk to duty and no-one has rang back, even if I have rang up to 3 times during the day to make sure my message has been passed on.

I haven't found the reception staff I deal with supportive or reassuring either and I do wonder whether they ever pass my messages on. Some are great at interrupting/talking over one when one is explaining something. I am made feel like I don't matter at all, even if I am crying on the phone asking for help because I feel like cutting my wrists while holding a knife.

I wish I was taken a bit more seriously. I wish the communication was better and I was made feel like I do matter. Actually I wish I was better and I didn't even have to go through this -lack of- service. Because it really is appalling.

I am hoping I will hear from a member of staff soon to update me before I do actually loose it again... I feel like you don't care and that I am just a number to you.