"My negative experience of group therapy"

I had been attending the group therapy for 9 weeks short of a year. My therapy had been very tough but I was starting to see dramatic changes in my attitude and my coping mechanisms, I had not self harmed for almost 6 months and was finding life easier to cope with.

There started being a lot of changes in the group which I find difficult to cope with, but I was doing well I thought with the changes. 2 of my therapists that had been facilitating the group had left suddenly and the main therapist in my view changed dramatically,other members of the group noticed their change in behaviour and attitude and other group members found it extremely hard to deal with how cold and distant and un-caring they had become. Then suddenly without spending sufficient time looking for the right person, a new therapist was employed. In my experience they were also cold and detached and un-caring and I think they were employed because they were known to the main therapist.

At this stage with all the changes, the 2 therapists leaving, a service user consultant joining the group and then taking 2 months holiday!, new group members joining and some members leaving suddenly. The dynamics of the group changed so drastically that in my view everyone was suffering and acting ouot. I admittedly was late one week after having 2 weeks off as the group was closed over Christmas. I was late because I had taken a serious overdose the night before and had woken up late in the morning with stomach cramps, the group has always said again and again that the best time to come to group is when you are feeling suicidal. So I did. But it didn't go down well.

I turned up 1 hour late and when I entered the therapy group the therapist closed the door in my face and told me to go home and to come back the next week.I was clearly distressed. They then came outside and told me if I did not go home they would call the police! I thought this was an aggressive, insensitive and nasty thing to do to someone who is suicidal and suffers from borderline personality disorder, I then left to head to a tall building as all I wanted to do was throw myself off.I felt so rejected and given up on.Like I was hopeless and at the time the only solution seemed to be suicide.

I ended up in hospital for a few days and all my progress that I made over the year has been undone. As I now feel I cannot trust a word that has been said to me in that therapy group.My confidence and trust has gone right down and I cant cope with everyday things. I have lost all of my friends that I made in the group as I think they have been told them not to answer my calls or texts and not to speak with me any more, like i am going to do something bad to them.

I am very passionate about this not happening to anyone else in that therapy group and I want to warn people that in my view its not good therapy and I feel that the facilitators are unprofessional and cold. I feel that I would never forgive myself if this happens again. I feel that the way I was treated was like bullying and its not helpful to someone with severe mental health problems.

Thank you so much for listening