"The Radbourne unit, Derby."

I voluntarily admitted myself to the unit after several suicide attempts,(after a devastating life event and other things) I was told not to worry, and that as I wasn't on a section, things would be ok.

It was very hard being away from my family and I hated being 'locked up'.

After a couple of days, things became so much clearer and I wanted to go home to my family.

I was told that if I attempted to leave I would be placed on a section and might be detained for weeks!

I had followed their rules, totally co-operated with everything and yet they refused to let me go, it took a week for them to eventually allow me to go home.

I then recieved a phone call saying they wanted me back in! I wasn't told it was only a visit home for 2 days, and I was told my child would not be returned to me until I was deemed ok by the staff there (who didn't know me at all)!

This totally tipped me over the edge and I drunk a bottle of wine and ended up in Derby A&E (as I suffer from stomach pain after alcohol, but I wanted to numb the emotional pain).

They saw this as a suicide attempt (which I stress it wasn't), and then rushed me back to the Radbourne unit where they tried to force me to take antipsychotic medication which I didnt want or need. Several members of staff, dragged me into a cell (or isolation room as they call it), held me down on the floor and injected me twice with sedatives into my bottom, and left me alone all night locked in this cell, on a mattress on the floor!

I feel I didn't deserve that at all, I was non violent just intensely upset.

I was kept in for another week and had to sign my child over to their father (who had been absent from their life for months) until they deemed I was able to cope again.

I would be weary of being 'presuaded' to voluntarily admit myself, as I am now aware that in my case it was not as cut and dry as they made out and I feel now that my future and freedom is in their hands.

If I didn't take exactly what meds they told me to take, didn't eat when they told me to, and actually had an opinion, I got threatened with a section, and faced being detained for months away from my family.

Even though this happened months ago to me, and I am now ok, they contacted social services and child protection services who won't leave me alone, despite the fact I live in a lovely house with my child, am in a secure relationship and it's been proven my child is very stable and happy.

I feel that once they have flagged you with 'mental health' issues after an admission, you are on the system for ages and can't escape.

I know as I am pregnant and suddenly had an inspection from social services to ensure I'm mentally capable to look after my child when they arrive. I feel like I have no say in my future, and all this comes from 'doing the sensible thing' and seeking help.