"Lack of care for my premature daughter and myself"

My daughter was admitted to special care baby unit due to being born prem at 35 weeks and 4 days. I have been made to feel I am getting in the way, made to feel uncomfortable and just made to feel upset and let down.

I was discharged from hospital 5 days after having a c-section and pre-eclamsia and had to travel 30 miles round trip everyday to see my daughter, due to this my section scar has bust open and I'm in constant pain with it, as well as I'm breast feeding.

I feel as well as my midwife feels, I should have been kept in longer and considering there has been beds available and also a room in the scbu i dont see why i shouldn't still be in there so i can breastfeed and not strain myself.

On to my daughters care, i went in to see her the day after i got discharged and opened the window to her incubator and all i could smell was poop so i took off her babygro to change her and the poop had gone through her nappy onto her babygro and onto her blanket she was sleeping on. It was that bad the poop had stained her leg.

My daughter is always rolling her eyes and pulling faces due to trapped wind, yet i got told by a nurse she don't need winding because she's tube fed. I see the air going through the tube when feeding her so yes, she does need winding! Not only that, she is left to cry as well as other babys are constantly left to cry and im not the only parent that has noticed it. I have spoken to a few other parents and they agree with everything i say. I am not a happy mummy and feel uncomfortable and upset leaving my little baby in their care.

Before i got discharged i was up on the unit one night and got told "don't touch her she won't grow" and "just leave her and she will settle on her own". I do not agree with the leave your baby to cry itself to sleep method, shes a prem baby and needs extra care and attention and so what if i want to comfort my baby, i dont expect to be told not to.

I tried making a complaint to the senior nurse and got made out to be lying, whether its because i am a young single mum or maybe thats just their attitude, but i feel let down and heartbroken over this matter. It breaks my heart leaving my baby not knowing if she will be left to cry, left with wind etc.

There is one nurse i really dislike, the same one that told me not to touch her she won't grow and leave her to cry herself to sleep. It was only 2 weeks ago she was in my tummy having steroids injected to boost her lungs and being left to cry is not good for her lil lungs, she needs to save her energy.

Anyway this nurse i don't like, she is not much older than me (I'm 20) so whether she looks down on me because i'm young also or maybe the face just dont fit, but anyway my mother and cousin came to visit and they both had a hold of my baby and all the other senior nurses seen and didn't see a problem but the nasty nurse waited till all other nurses weren't in the room and then said after an hour of them being there "you're not meant to hold the baby because of germs"!

Because i don't have a partner my mum steps in and supports me, so her holding her grandchild is like a father being there and its just the way she waited till no other nurses were in the room and said it quietly. I have never seen this nurse smile or even be friendly. I actually left the ward one night in tears because i didnt feel comfortable leaving my baby with her which i find diabolical and when i try to complain about this girl all i get in response is "shes a lovely girl". Which she is going to say as they work together and she is not going to see the same side to her as i see.

This situation is hard enough without girls a few years older than me making me feel terrible, usually i'm a strong person but when its your baby its hard and i can't be there at night so nothing i can do but phone up and ask can you make sure she's winded and not left to cry. My daughter is not a baby that cries alot, if you just rub her head and pat her back she drops off within minutes so i dont see why they cant just settle her and not leave her to cry.

I will not be using Nevill Hall and from now on if my daughter needs medical treatment i will be paying private. I feel very let down and this has caused me great distress.