"Another waste of time!"

Today I had an appointment with a consultant o'here, at last having waited for the last 2+ years. Unfortunately I'm agoraphobic and bed ridden most of the time and getting there was a huge effort which basically took a week to sort out, and extra tramadol this morning, anyhow I got there.

The consultant seemed quite knowledgeable to start with (IOW not entirely convinced as you mention possibilities to my problem which I know that they are not) then asked me to lie on the couch for rectal examination, I already had explained that due to my condition my legs must be wide apart all the time. I was almost relaxed stage with my legs apart lying on the couch when the consultant came over and jammed my legs right together (which messed up my insides completely, obviously, and should have known much better than that) and then said I was not relaxed enough. No of course I'm not relaxed anymore!

They had done an action which would make me the absolute least relaxed possible and which absolutely nobody in my family or friends would even dream of doing. The consultant then said they refuses to do it. They also said that I was going to have the CT scan, then all of a sudden they decided I was not able to do anything. I'm 52 with two doctorates by the way and very much able to decide what I can do and what I can't, the amount of times I've come across medical staff thinking agoraphobia affects my mentality is mind-boggling, it's not for them to say, only I know what I can and cannot do, and this is abuse, this is discrimination. It is an absolute waste of time, waste of a week getting ready prepared, a waste of time meddling with my tramadol, Co-Codamol, Ibuprofen tablet taking - which is already dangerous in itself - and sleep pattern so I could be awake at 2 o'clock this morning to make the appointment for nine. Now I am right back to square one again. Just one of the thing, with the difficulty walking and getting there, staff consistently were saying you're doing well, I'm not 11, I absolutely hate that, it's so patronising hence disrespectful, the whole thing was of this respect. This time no matter how unwell I am, I have people who will help, this has to be a full complaint with all the other lack of service in the national health service if that's the only way to get something done and actually have people listen to the patient rather than make their own minds up with no knowledge about me at all.