"Hernia procedure consultation"

My review is not as a patient but as the wife of a patient , who very sadly, is under duress on account of the lack of communication as well as appropriate reflection of empathy. I was present for three prior consultations and unfortunately did not have the pleasure of being able to personally assess the latest version. First consultation - Request to see the lead consultant was ignored; however, the consultant was most empathetic and communicated well. Second consultation - Again, request to see lead consultant either ignored / lost in the pipelines; Communication by doctor was rushed and advise given was in complete opposition to our first consultation; this, very obviously lead to us wondering if perhaps the team had lost their bookmark? Crucial to be on the same page while handling the lives of others, yes?no?. Leaving dazed and confused, we decided to research the most optimal and safe procedure, after which we tried lucky number 3!. Third consultation - Yay! We actually scored the lead consultant! But with every silver lining comes a cloud; I personally think the lead is a brilliant doctor! One, in whose hands, I once laid the life of my husband and the outcome was nothing less than positive! They saved my husband's life. Sadly, the lead must been been having a bad day at the time of our consultation with them, for all we received was the following - A cavalier attitude and our concerns/ fears were met with " You're dwelling on the negatives too much and too much research done". When asked for their personal opinion, response was " it is up to you". If I was certain on what needed to be done I wouldn't have asked for a 'personal opinion'. I realise that as a lead consultant one may feel narcissistically secure in their abilities and outcome, which is brilliant! But as a patient , responses such as the above along with contradictory and then again with a complete lack of information and no empathy , can lead to immense anxiety/stress/depression and fear. Fourth consultation - Determined to make a final decision, lead not available, when junior doctor was told of the decision made by us, he failed to listen and understand our decision and documentation on the theatre scheduling paperwork was incorrect. This, I will correct myself tomorrow when I myself am due to come in for a ..... Guess what?! Consultation. ! I have long since passed the need to cry over the duress caused as it is better to laugh at the ridiculous. Buck up Darent Valley ! FYI.... Nurses are great considering their workload and pay! Kudos...