"Change of Heart"

4 Friends of mine independently told me I need C.B.T. after learning what I had been through.

One is a Liaison Officer for the council, Another is a team leader for Social Services, the third has recently qualified as a Doctor of psychology (in fact she showed me that I had been living with a textbook psychopath) and just the other day when I mentioned to a friend that the counselling I was having felt like a dead end, she also without knowing what other people had said to me, recommended CBT. She got her degree from Oxford.

I was denied CBT and simply told I was suffering from depression which it won't help with..

My councillor tried to persuade to go out for an alcoholic drink, I haven't touched drink since the abusive relationship I was in, due to her drinking and its effects. That's a personal choice not something I need persuading to do, and it seems puerile to expect me to.

6 weeks ago my counsellor was taken ill, I got no message and turned up. The office had left messages on my mobile despite my request for that not to happen. The following 2 weeks my counsellor was on holiday which I had been told about. I'm on morphine for pain as well 2 other meds which sometimes constipate me. On my Drs advice I had taken a big dose of laxatives the night before and I simply was unable to get to my appointment. I rang up 3 hours beforehand. The following week, the exact opposite happened to me on the way to the bus. Thats not happened to me since i was a young child. I got the impression my counsellor thought I was lying.

Thats a gross thing to make up. This morning the temp dropped by about 5 degrees. That causes the double scoliosis in my spine to compress trapping nerves, I have a partially dislocated shoulder at the moment which was also immensely painful, I had to phone my family for help.

I phoned up the Archway, with no option but to cancel. My (ex) counsellor rang back and with zero compassion or understanding dismissed me. What a waste of time and taxpayers money.

My previous review was based mostly on the building and desk staff. I feel no animosity towards my counsellor but feel they could benefit from offering more compassion and listening rather than reliance on patients hastily written numerical summing up of a whole weeks feelings. This counsellor missed 3 sessions in a row, yet I persevered, I have a terrible run of ill health, beyond my control and I am punished...