"Unnecessary anxiety. ...."

I found the whiole process very confusing.I had a neck dissection in June for which I was given very little information before hand. i have had an episode of ms and also v bad back currently which I had told them about. And so we turned up, having traveled an hour to get there, at 7am. with my back playing up and feeling bewildered in the crowded waiting area, we asked if my partner could stay with me , as I was then informed my op was at 1.30. .so a wait, sitting in a chair for five hours was on. ....Do the staff really think this is acceptable? Maybe they've forgotten the fear induced in sometione already ill who is then ttold that their partner has to leave , as other women are in a 'state of undress'.....I was told laterr by another very kind nurse, that it was perfectly possible for him to stay but the matron that day was v strict and decided no. This for a patient anxious and with the unknown outcome on their mind and a back which was in lot of pain.. This critical bit which would have calmed me down hugely appears to be discretionary? consequently with a six hour wait , by the time I was left in the pre theatre Bay with no one at all with me (this was at the most stressful point) I started to cry. No one comforted me , the scrubs were all talking amongst themselves and i felt terrified , uninformed and beyond nervous. By the time I was in the anaesthetic room I couldn't stop crying and it was those people who had to calm me down. The only person who held my hand at any stage was the nurse there. .I have now had a second op-further neck x plus tonsillectomy . The fear this time was the pain after tonsillectomy- which I'd read much about. And so a female friend came with me right up to anaesthetic room... We asked and this time she was allowed to stay. Such an easy way of easing the FEELINGS of fear accompaning such a big day for those actually experiencing it. I am sure that all is over stretched and that money and time are right, but it takes nothing to reassure or care. The terrible next three weeks ( (toillectomy hell )meant a longer stay. I really believe that the patients would benefit (all ones talking to me in Ward anyway ) from clear information and an element of empathy. I left with a discharge note about my meds... waited hours for this while all I could hear was endless stories about holidays, parties etc etc. I feel the constant chatter to each other at times rather than the patient was genuinely insensitive when one is struggling for ones life? I had severe choking problems and was coughing up a lot of blood . After that every liquid I drank went straight down my wind pipe and I was suffocating. If at that point a nurse had come and sat with me, held my hand etc it would have helped. On leaving we were given no instructions at all of how to deal with such a traumatic op. So we were left to deal with it with no advice of the day to day care then needed. all very distre