"rescueing the rescuer"

i'm back in psychiatric services again after a relapse. i suffer from anxiety/depression. i care for myself. over the past few days i've felt suicidal but have had the strength not to carry out the threat.. on monday i went to the local council office with the intention of harming myself in front of an audience if i did not get any help. i got help OK.they contacted the crisis resolution team who did their bit by calling an ambulance which took me to hospital. one member of the ambulance crew said that i was a time waster. while i was in the council office i felt so strong i could have done some serious damage this feeling is known as the popeye or hulk syndrome. it is a rush of adrenalin that makes you feel 10 times stronger than any one. i threatened to put 2 CSO's through a wall.. the ambulance took over an hour to get to me, by which time i had calmed down to an acceptable degree. i was given a psychiatric assessment and was allowed home. i'm hoping to undergo outpatient therapy.