"Crisis Team not involving carer"

My husband was told by his GP that he was severely depressed recently and placed on anti depressants. The same day as his diagnosis, the GP arranged for the crisis team to visit him in our home - such was the concern for his wellbeing and safety.

They arrived within 90 mins after his return from the GPs and frankly I was still in a little shock at the diagnosis. I knew he was down but didn’t realise he was that bad. My husband was waiting in the lounge and I let them in. I asked if they wanted me to come in for the talk with my husband but they said they didn’t think they did and I said I would wait in the kitchen and that if they wanted me to give me a shout.

Around 25 minutes later I heard my husband letting them out the front door. I quickly went into the hallway in absolute astonishment. I asked did they not want to have a word with me? One replied, “not really, did you want to have a word with us?” I replied that under the circumstances yes I did. I thought they looked rather put out to be honest and I felt they tried to stall it by asking if my husband minded. He said he didn't. I found out later that my husband actually asked if I should be present when they entered the room as he would have quite liked me to have been there. They didn't make much of it he said.

I was furious when they left. I felt as if they had had no intentions of asking me anything or telling me anything. I totally understand confidentiality guidelines but my husband had absolutely no issue with me being present. My husband was not well but I learned that he felt suicidal about an hour before they arrived and I was very concerned. Of course I naturally assumed they would want a quick chat at the very least if only to give me their number if I was worried about my husband. Nothing. I had to ask for it and even then I felt like I was putting them out.

I made a complaint directly to their manager and I am pleased to say retraining is now taking place, or at least I am told that it is. I do hope so because I think this should just not be happening to families and carers.