"Please read"

About: Marie Stopes International Essex Centre

The nurses are standing around talking in a different language staring at you from time to time, which is more then unnerving.

You get in this room and they tell you to get in this chair/bed thing, which a stool is needed, because it's so high. They lay you down and explain about putting you out. Here I'm agitated and frightened, I know the needle is coming soon, and I'm asking for the instant numbing spray I was promised.

The doctor is ignoring me and not letting me finish. Which is making me move about, the doctor asks me to be still while I see the needle in their hand. At this point, I did loose it, I'm shouting and crying, so they hold me down, which scares me more. I'm shouting to be let out and for my partner. I'm crying so much and just trying to get up. They shout at me to calm down, but I was too scared. The doctor finally gets the spray and sprays my arm, which shocks me still. Then without giving it time to work, sticks me with the needle, the drugs are in and I'm out. Next I'm awake but someone saying my name. I'm in a wheelchair, without any knowledge of how I got there. They say there taking me back to the ward, get me up and back into my uncomfortable chair.

I have no idea what happened,

I get another set of painkillers and told to go to the toilet and I can get dressed again, when I can walk, still no mention of any counselling.

I'm watching some girls leave and them saying they haven't received an aftercare package like the others. The nurses just have no idea what they are doing. And do not care at all anyway. They are harsh, rude and extremely hard to understand.

They tell me about the implant inserted in my left arm, while I was out and when I can remove the bandage. And that's it. When you can walk, you are escorted downstairs to the front door and told you can now leave.

My experience here was so awful, it has destroyed me as a person. I have nightmares about all there faces staring at me while I scream and they hold me down. I'm terrified all the time. I can't be alone anymore, because I'm afraid of being on my own ever again. I can't get over the whole dreadful experience and what I actually done. I went there not knowing 100% if I was going to go through with it. But it's all a rush to get you in and out again, you don't get anyone to help or talk to about it all.

I am still greatly affected by this all today and have now found some counselling of my own, due to not being able to cope anymore. I lost my relationship due to not being able to handle all of the different emotions. I believe this experience, did not need to be this awful and difficult, I wish, people read this and go anywhere but here. My own doctor who I visited the day after for a check up (due to uncleanliness and no one knowing what they were doing) said they had done work there and found it awful and didn't support the place in anyway possible. Agreed they treat woman as if a conveyor belt and wished they get closed down

I couldn't agree more, please don't go.

Story from NHS Choices

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