"Midwife behaviour caused me stress and upset"

I am currently 21 weeks pregnant with my first baby. I went to my midwife appointment at the Princess Royal Maternity Hospital in Glasgow. My midwife was rude and made me feel very uncomfortable.

I had taken my partner with me so he could be more involved as he had been a little distressed that he didn't feel that he was part of this pregnancy. He was looking forward to hearing the heart beat of the baby as he had missed this the first time. I had openly said to the midwife that he had been disappointment he missed it the first time so she would include him. she asked me to sit up on the bed and them proceeded to pull the curtain round so he was blocked out from what was happening. when finished I went back to sit down next to him and I ask if he had heard the heartbeat and he said he didn't know what to listen for and looked really upset. he later told me that he felt very blocked out and not included and it upset him as it his baby too.

I said that I thought I might have thrush and she asked me to do my own swab when I have no idea what I was doing! She poured my urine sample I gave her into another bottle to send away after she had put the strip in and contaminated it. She never told me why she was doing certain things. Like blood pressure and blood. I had to ask why.

When discussing with her that I hadn't yet felt my baby move she was very abrupt and basically made me feel like I was an idiot for not feeling my baby yet. she made me feel like I wasn't trying hard enough to feel it! I told her I wasn't really worried as the midwife who had performed my scan had told me the week before to not to worry until I get to 24 weeks. she told me I should have felt something by now. this really upset me and I felt like I was going to cry and would need to leave the room. I was convinced that something was wrong and I got really worked up and upset about it. I'm thankful that my partner was with me or I would have been able to cope with this stress.

I sufferer badly with depression and anxiety. The last thing I needed was to add to the extra worry I already have. When discussing this with the midwife she didn't seem very interested in what I was saying or very caring when this is hard subject for me to discuss. My partner had to hold my hand to calm me down as I get quiet defensive about my emotions as I have had a history of doctors not helping me with my mental health.

The doctor on the ward was extremely nice and calmed me down, he suggested putting me forward for some help with my depression and that was a good thing. He also decide to refer me for a baby trace scan where they check the babies heartbeat for movement.

Me and my partner went through to a ward where a lot of other pregnant ladies were there getting tests. I was scared and didn't really know why I was there this early in my pregnancy.  We sat for 30 mins waiting for someone to come see us and when she eventually did she checked my file and the first midwife had put down that I was 29 weeks pregnant. I said that I was only 21 and she was so apologetic about the whole situation but I felt this was little to late. she said she couldn't do the test as I wasn't fall enough along. She looked over my test results from the scan and confirmed that everything was fine in a two minute chat which is the reason I was meant to be at the appointment in the first place.

I have been left with a fear that there is something wrong with my baby, I have been left feeling more confused than ever. my partner has been left feeling even more not involved or wanted by the midwifes. It has left me extremely down which is not something I was needing within my hormonal state as I am finding it difficult enough to control my emotions.

I've felt like since going to the PRM hospital for my past two appointment they have both been very negative. The midwifes I have talked to haven't been very supportive or have any bedside manner. Being pregnant for the first time is a terrifying experience if you know nothing about it and I sometimes feel like they just assume that I should know certain things. They hand you a book and let you get on with it. I have experienced things though this pregnancy and I'm not sure if it is normal but when you try to call up and talk to someone the phone is always engaged.