"Delivery suite is a disaster"

I was induced on September 15, 2014 which didn’t quite work. So I was given a stronger induction on day 2 prior to which registrar on duty recommended that I should take epidural considering the pain to follow will be horrible.

Once epidural started to kick in I was in care of a midwife who started shouting at me when I started crying from pain and anxiety. The registrar on duty was coming in from time to time to see how contractions and dilation kept progressing as pace of both was quite slow. They did a PV examination and felt the head of my baby and came back asking the question ‘was the growth scan normal’. Imagine asking this question of a woman in labor for the first time. Firstly if the growth scan would have been abnormal it would have been picked up and secondly the blue file is always accessible to the doctor so they could have gotten hold of it rather than making me nervous at that point in time. Then I was asked to push after being in labor for 48 hours and being made nervous to the hilt. Well I tried my level best but baby just would not come out. After a while baby passed meconium which made them nervous and everything got into a state of emergency. I was told that if I couldn’t push in 15 minutes they would use forceps and if no luck then C-Section is the solution and was given a consent form to sign off. I was ushered to the theatre, anesthetic was called and I could feel my baby heart beat slightly dropping. I pushed to my level best ability in most fearful state of losing my first child whilst the doctor happily used forceps giving me a third degree perennial tear. The post-natal ward that I was shifted to was a disaster. Families were there for a picnic with everyone over. I could feel loud music in bed next to me and children screaming. I called nurse at night to help me with breast feeding and they were rude to the extent that I never called the nurse again. When it came to discharge I had to remind the doctor in charge that I should be given a dose of antibiotics and creams which the obstetrician had advised. But despite the reminder they again forgot to give me and happily went off on a lunch break. For recovery my perennial tear I was referred to a clinic which was another nightmare. It happened twice that I was booked in for a procedure(surgery) but I wasn’t on the hospital list when I walked in so I had to wait till the doctor completed all procedures and took me in as the last one. On my repeat appointment the same thing happened, I had a letter of appointment from central bookings but I wasn’t on the clinic list. I never went back to them as I was moving from London to Southwest. I am still seeing gynecology clinic here and might go through another procedure as my vagina still hasn’t recovered, pelvic muscles still weak and the stich I got on my muscle is still soar. I still find it hard to have a normal sexual relationship, my posture is still affected from tear and I still suffer incontinency, whom should I blame????