"My ten year old PTSD"

I lost my brother in 2004 in tragic circumstances. From the moment I was told, I couldn't breathe. This lasted over 10 years. I had major relapses of anxiety and so called depression. I suffered with prolonged anxiety attacks and ended up socially isolated.... I couldn't see past each struggled breath. I couldn't sleep, I was highly agitated and lived in doom and despair.

My GP advised I self refer to Trent psychology services. I had tried counselling so many times and felt very little impact but I was desperate for help.

I started seeing a female therapist who quickly recognised my symptoms (PTSD) and started to work with me using EMDR (eye movement desensitisation reprocessing). This was not your general talking therapy, this was real work and I felt as though I was facing some real demons whilst being securely and safely guided by my amazing therapist! I remember working so hard on one session that afterwards I felt exhausted and couldn't speak. It sounds scary, but it was actually an amazing feeling. The dark inside had lifted and I felt so light and so clean. I was empty but in such a good way.

The next day I returned to see my therapist. I was noticeably more relaxed and calmer. Don't get me wrong, this didn't happen over night. It took 1-2 sessions per week for a number of months, but it seemed the effects seem to show and shine after my letting go of some terrible things.

My therapist was truly amazing. My therapy was truly amazing. But coupled together my experience because of the therapy and the person delivering my therapy, was truly immeasurable. My life is so different now. I feel free. I can think about my brother in positive ways. I can drive down the road where he was killed and not sob. I owe this to EMDR, but even more I owe my freedom of thoughts to my wonderful therapist, without whom I could not have started and completed my journey.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Thank you for what you have given me.

"I'm so glad I found this" -Editors