"Poems about my recovery"

I am in recovery following a diagnosis of Severe Anxiety and Depression and a spell on Lilac Ward at Tolworth Hospital. A significant part of that process has entailed attending various local Recovery College courses based at Springfield Hospital in Tooting. I have written many poems detailing my breakdown, hospitalisation and ongoing recovery. These were inspired by what I learned at the Recovery College. I'll let them speak for me:

METTA BHAVANA

(The Recovery College)

1.

plant a seed

of loving kindness

in your heart

feed it

with tranquility

till it flowers

with strength and confidence

in a golden light

into love

2.

paint a picture

of a good friend

in your mind

in bright colours

feel your connection

the light of your heart

flowing into theirs

send them

loving kindness

3. & 4.

declare neutrality

towards someone

you don’t know very well

then escalate

but don’t hate

someone you dislike

treat them equally

wish them health

and happiness

5.

grow the flower

into a forest

the picture

into a panorama

your friends

mere acquaintances

and even enemies

the world the universe

send them loving kindness

love

GUEST HOUSE

(Jalāl ad-Dīn Muhammad Balkhī also known as Jalāl ad-Dīn Muhammad Rūmī and more popularly in the English-speaking world simply as Rumi (1207–1273), was a 13th-century Persian poet, jurist, theologian, and Sufi mystic)

This being human is a guest house

Every morning is a new arrival

A joy, a depression, a meanness

Some momentary awareness comes

As an unexpected visitor

Life is a mirror

In which I am reflected

Looking back at me

I don’t recognise myself

But I like what I see

Welcome and entertain them all

Even if they are a crowd of sorrows

Who violently sweep your house

Empty of its furniture

Still, treat each guest honourably

He may be clearing you out

For some new delight

The mirror cracked

Split my face in two

I pick up the pieces

And build anew

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,

Meet them at the door laughing,

And invite them in

I am here

What’s past is done

I am now

The future may never come

Be grateful for whoever comes,

Because each has been sent

As a guide from beyond

I face forward

I would rather mourn

For what I do

Than what I haven’t done

THE ENEMY

Only a fool

Fights a battle

He cannot win

So said Genghis Kahn

And he knew

What he was talking about

So sheath your sword

Lest it become

Cruel and corrupted

Confuse your enemy

With courtesy

Welcome him

Do not give him

The satisfaction

Of contesting him

Kill him

With kindness

WIRE WALKER

I walk the high wire

From where I was

To where I need to be

Who I was

And who I want to be

Can’t turn back

Must face forward

Walk away from the Moon

And towards the Sun

And on one end

Of my balancing pole

Sits a devil

And on the other

There is an angel

And they both look like me

If one takes flight

I will overbalance

And fall into the void

I must accept them both

Embrace them equally

Impartially

Me