"I had a terrible and upsetting ..."
About: Southampton General Hospital Southampton General Hospital Southampton SO16 6YD
What I liked
I had a terrible and upsetting experience
What could be improved
Admitted with a miscarriage & was in a huge amount of pain. There for 2 hrs waiting for a doctor by which time I had finished miscarrying with no painkillers which was an awful & extremely painful experience. By the time the doctor came and I said I thought it was over she suggested I should have stayed at home as "most women put up with the discomfort in their home." I explained firmly that this was not simply "discomfort" - I had been in extreme pain. At one point I remember literally hanging off the bed in agony as my husband had to prop me up so I didn't fall. She said she would get me something to take home for the pain should it come back as she had to book me out as they had a 4 & a half hour turnaround apparently & there was no need to keep me in. As their job was obviously done I waited for my cannula to be taken out for about 20 mins but then decided to clean myself up & get changed. Nobody had asked me what I had passed (if I had discharged my baby) and when I checked I found my discharged unborn amongst a mass of blood and tissue. I was left to dispose of this by myself by placing it in a cardboard bowl & having to put it in the bin - an upsetting and traumatising situation that will stay with me forever. By the time the nurse came to take the cannula out I had turned white, was dizzy & felt sick. She simply said if I was going to be sick, do it in the sink & sat me down. Seconds later she asked my husband if he was driving. He was. She suggested I wait at the entrance for him to bring the car round. They let me go feeling sick, dizzy, not with it, & having lost a lot of blood, having been in pain for hours with no painkillers, exhausted & traumatised with no compassion or checking I was OK. The doctor seemed annoyed that the pain had gone by the time she got there - almost like I'd made it up. The original agency worker nurse said all of 2 words to me & never passed on details of exacting how much pain I was in. An awful experience I never want repeated
I hope this never happens to anyone else. Blood was taken with no results given to me and blood of mine going all over the floor and trolley - then I was told I was being moved to make way for someone else. I watched them be wheeled in to my old cubicle where the blood had not been cleaned up first. The nurse agency worker was unsympathetic and said nothing to me but to ask my name, date of birth, if I was allergic to anything (just a few mandatory questions). When I was in my worst "contraction" type pain he had his back to me and after it had passed (saying nothing to me or even looking at me while I was groaning loudly in pain) walked out mumbling "someone will be in with something for the pain when they can." By the time I was seen it was too late. I never want anyone to go through this. I feel let down and deeply upset at a time that is extremely upsetting as it is. My experience made everything worse. Having to dispose of my own baby after I was told I was free to go with no checking of the blood I had lost and without being offered the choice of someone to check for me what I had discharged and if I wanted them to take it left me feeling sick, angry, upset and with an image I can't get rid of. This was a complete lack of care. I understand many women have a miscarriage at home but I was specifically told to go to the hospital by my GP and the Early Pregnancy Clinic if I was in a lot of pain or had a lot of bleeding - I had both. The pain was unbearable. It was made clear that the hospital didn't want me there and didn't think I should be there. Maybe if they'd seen me while I was screaming with pain and asked to check how much blood I had discharged they may have been more caring. Please don't do this to other people - especially not at such an upsetting time.