"Couldn't have done it without your wonderful service"
About: Inclusion Matters Wirral Inclusion Matters Wirral CH41 1EL
Posted by s4m (as ),
In January 2007 I found out that my husband of 18yrs was having 'another' affair and decided enough was enough. Having been in this mentally and physically abusive relationship for all these yrs at first I thought I had done so well to make a huge decision, then followed 6yrs of being bullied in work and my life went from bad to worse - why me? what signals did I send out to say that this was ok? I had a physical and mental breakdown, accessed MH services for the first time and received so much care from my GP, who then referred me for counselling - over the last 12 months I have worked extremely hard to put my life back together! with the help of Heather my counsellor, she has been fabulous. Helping me to understand my personality, my reactions to others and my desire to please everyone and basically 'do as I am told' rather than doing and saying what I want to do!
This week I have had my final counselling session - I start a new full time job after Easter and I have booked a holiday, which will be my first retreat since all of this first happened 8yrs ago ( or do I mean 26yrs ago, when I got married? ) anyway Easter has always signified new starts for me, not New Year, that's a bout the birth of a project, this is about having gone through some life experience and surviving them in order to reclaim yourself and be true to what you want from life.
Its scary knowing that my whole life is changing and that for the first time ever I am in complete control of it. At 50 yrs of age I finally realise that I don't have to be a 'good girl' make sure I do my homework, get a good job, have well behaved children, an immaculate house and a 'perfect' life. Finally I can do a job that I enjoy, but gives me time for a life too, that I can leave the dishes in the sink if I want to, but more importantly I can say 'NO' when I don't want to do something and that I don't have to change my life/plans to please everyone around me!
Counselling and Heather in particular has been so good in helping me to listen to myself and make sure that I am making the decisions I make for me! I am so grateful that for the first time in years I can be me! I haven't quite reached the stage that I look in the mirror and like what I see, but I'm getting there and one day in the future I will be able to look myself in the eye and be proud of who I am. I couldn't have done this without your wonderful service - so thank you for being there for me.