"My experience of CAMHS Service summed up"

Imagine being young person suffering from bullying and an abusive relationship. Bullied from a young age, life was tough for me. At Secondary school, I turned to self-harm. I felt like I couldn’t cope. I was in and out of hospital on a number of occasions. I felt alone and I could not cope. Before the age of 13 I was referred to CAMHS Tier 2… twice.

As if the first time wasn’t bad enough, on both occasions I was given workers which although absolutely lovely people, seemed to have only just graduated. They struggled to help me open up and the second even made empty promises continuously. After 6 sessions with each worker, I was discharged, with virtually no change to my feelings, my self-worth or my confidence.

2012 was my last hospitalisation due to an overdose. They decided to refer me to Tier 3. The woman at the hospital (who was from this level of CAMHS) was so helpful. She made me feel comfortable and she didn’t make me hate myself for causing my family such problems.

I arrived at the Outpatient Centre a few months later with my Mum and my hopes high. I wanted to recover. Almost an hour late, my name was finally called. Mum came with me, but they asked her to leave after about 5 minutes. I pretty much felt ignored by my worker. Every time I tried to explain something, she attempted to repeat it to me. Not only could she hardly speak English, but she twisted my words, especially on the topic of family problems. I think this forced the relationship between my Mum and I to completely break down. My Mum was the only person I could try to open up to before this.

My school decided to refer me to a counselling service based in Nottingham Centre called Harmless. Here, I met a worker who’d been through similar things. She understood me when I tried to explain my feelings. She became a friend. I had someone. Finally. I only saw her every two weeks, but she always listened and she never judged me.

I began to find my self-confidence. In the summer of 2013, I started seeing somebody new. He was a little bit older than me, but he treated me with such respect. He knew about my problems, but he not once belittled me for it. He met my Dad and from that evening, the bond between my family and I has continued to grow. I then made a huge decision. I was going to move school for Year 11. I’d not self-harmed in just over a year. Although I still had panic attacks, I wanted to make something of myself. My GCSE results weren’t very good after Year 10 and I knew I could do so much better.

With the support from Harmless, the support from my new school, the lack of knowledge within my new school friends, and my boyfriend, I have been recovering. Don’t get me wrong, I have bad days. Days where I don’t want to get out of bed; sleepless nights; panic attacks; and flashbacks. But I cope. I still get up and go to college. But not through the support of CAMHS.

I left school with 10 GCSEs. I am now studying 3 A Levels. I will pursue my dream career. And I will fight every day of my life till I achieve it!

But my experience of CAMHS summed up? An NHS funded pile of uselessness. A place where people didn't listen to me, made empty promises and crushed my dreams further than they already have been; a slow service that lacks emotional support and caregiving.

So when you ask me if I’d recommend CAMHS to a loved one, or even a stranger. The answer is a big fat no. The service Harmless provides is so much more beneficial and caring, even with their financial cuts by the Nottinghamshire Healthcare Trust.

Maybe CAMHS should take a few tips from this charity! !