"Paramedic chose to lecture instead of care"

About: North East Ambulance Service NHS Foundation Trust

(as a friend),

Dear Paramedic who attended a 999 call two weeks ago from a daughter worried about her mother. She presented with severe back pain and lost mobility, which was down to deterioration from cancer treatment. Her daughter knew there was something else wrong but didn't know what, so couldn't articulate it, she just knew her Mum needed help. She was scared and desperate so she called you. And without knowing them, or their circumstances, you thought it appropriate to make the daughter feel stupid, like she had done the wrong thing, and tell her she shouldn't have called you. That you are there to respond to people in emergencies, people who were dying. Well to this daughter it was an emergency. Her Mum was in severe pain and needed help. She was dying, although none of you knew it. She died less than two weeks after you told her daughter she wasn't someone you should be helping.

It's not your place, or the right time to educate people on the appropriate use of emergency services, when you respond to their call for help. That should be done elsewhere by people much better at it than you. I hope if you're ever in the same boat, someone who cares more than you did about this mother and daughter turns up at your home when you ask for help.

This daughter is too busy grieving to complain. You might never read this or know how much your behaviour made things worse for this family. But perhaps me sharing this will help change things for other families.

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